Judge — August 14, 1926 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE JupcE (after sampling the evidence) —A nd you make this stuff yourself —how long have you been drinking it? Judge’s Question Box EAR JupGE: I ama young man about twenty-seven years old, with a B. V. D. physique and an Arrow collar physiognomy. I am modest and retiring, but I can’t es- cape the attentions of all the girls who meet me. I really don’t try to captivate them, but there seems to be some fatal attraction about my looks and personality that makes them all fall in love with me. Rudolph Dear Rudi: I can sympathize with you because I’m the same way. It’s hell to be beautiful, ain’t it? And I can just see the modesty and shyness sticking out all over you. I don’t think it’s right, and neither are you. My best advice is to walk over to the edge of the canal some nice evening. Just for the fun of it, throw your hat far out into deep water, only don’t let go of it. Wishing you the very best of luck, Dear Mr. Jupce: For the past three years, I've been studying nights out of a correspondence school course in playwriting and have now got my diploma which it looks so nice framed up over the necktie rack in my apartments. I have also bought myself a type- iter and you got no idea how fine it is to bea real playwright. We got lots of worries, of course, just like in any great art, but 1 am now ponder- ing a plot for a new play. It is my first play, but it is also new. It is about an Irish girl and a Jewish boy which falls in love with each other, only their parents cannot see it. So they get married anyways and have lots of trouble until finally the wee ones begin to a And then, at the last it gi a grand making-up scene by the curtain. Personally, I think this would make a good idea for a play, espe- cially with me writing it, and putting in lots of jokes, ete., ete. Yours, with a two-cent stamp. Jacobus Dear Jake: This is a clever idea on your part and shows your fresh- ness and originality. However, we should advise rather strongly against writing such a play since somebody tried doing it a few years ago and the show has been a flop ever since. Richard 8. Wallace Why not have lifeguards stationed behind:the more prominent trees along the post road? . = comicbooks.com