Judge, 1926-08-07 · page 10 of 36
Judge — August 7, 1926 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page from *Judge* contains several short satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor magazines. **"Obrien Outloud"** opens with a quip about blonde preferences and gentlemanliness—light social commentary on dating customs. **"The Wallflower"** is a brief verse joke about a shy woman rejecting a dance invitation. **"What Might Have Been"** is the page's main satirical piece, mocking contemporary **reformers** (likely Progressive Era activists concerned with moral standards and regulation). The satire argues that if reformers had existed throughout American history with their restrictive attitudes, they would have prevented major historical achievements—Paul Revere's midnight ride, Daniel Boone's frontier expansion, Sherman's Civil War campaign, and the American Revolution itself. This defends historical figures and progress against what the author sees as excessive modern moral policing. The cartoon illustrations show domestic servants eavesdropping, a traffic accident, and a formal gathering—supporting themes of social observation and constraint. The final anecdote about logging in Canada references how movie companies' presence altered local conditions, suggesting artificiality in modern entertainment.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE ‘Obrien Gutloud” Jost because a fellow prefers blondes that doesn’t make him a gentleman. 0 | The Wallflower | | “Will you shake a leg with me?” Aman came up and said; But she was very bashful, so She merely shook her head. | oO What Might Have Been It would have been hard on this country if reformers had been as ive all through our history as y are at present. Just think of it: They might have stopped Paul Revere from shouting in the middle of the night. Or “He says he supposes th’ servants are eavesdroppin’.” Daniel Webster from opening his Cook (removing apron)—The insulting pup! I’m gonna quit me job! first case. Or Daniel Boone from chopping down trees or Indians on Sunday. They might have pre- | vented General Sherman from march | ing to the sea for fear his army ali # might have: been’ contaminated. by. / the sight of bathing beauties there whose costumes did not measure up (or down) to the required specifica- tions. They might have obtained an injunction against the fight for _ independence on the grounds that ————— fights were degrading and brutal Give up your horn and klazon—this modern lightning warner gets spectacles. They might have pre- immediate attention, vented Benjamin Franklin from | flying a kite, Eli Whitney from mak- | ing any kind of a gin and Robert — | Fulton from letting the Clermont steam up the Hudson. They might | have prevented Andrew Jackson from letting the British have a little more grape. They might have prevented the Boston Tea Party and the cele- brating of Independence Day. ‘They might have prevented all these things, but they had no organization or contributions. And that might have prevented them. fo} A Scotchman probably wears a kilt because it hasn't got any pockets. oO Scenarios Require Them We spent some ‘time ja ‘the Canadian woods recently and were much interested in the logging industry. Incidentally, an old na- tive informed us that there had never been a serious log jam within his “Quick, Maizie, it’s a hold-up—hide your jewels!” memory until the movie people went “My gawd! Wotll I do—swallow ‘em!” up there on location. R. C. O'B. | = comicbooks.com