Judge — July 10, 1926 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE How to keep that schoolgirl affection. Wasuincros Dinas The Retort Courteous “Ts he a loyal Brown man?” “Loyal? Say, he won't even use Colgate tooth paste!” (From Brown Jug) Neither do we wear Brown derbies! Colgate Banter sae She—I won't even consider marry- ing you. You are the most stupid, i . asinine creature on earth, You are repulsive, abhorrent and miserable. I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on earth. hate you, you are despicable. He—Do T understand that you are rejecting my proposal? —Boston Beanpot Pad Judge—The policeman says that you were traveling at a speed of sixty miles an hour. Prisoner—It was necessary. Your Honor, I had stolen the car. “Oh, that’s different. missed.” Case dis- Carolina Buccaneer Dumbgard—Did you hear that Jim got poisoned eating chicken? Dumbjohn—Croquette “Not yet, but he’s pretty sick.” West Point Pointer There’s no justice; if you make out your income tax correctly you go to the poorhouse. If you don’t you go to ja'l. MM. 1. T. Vou Doo Reed “Where ya bee tate Institution. “Where? Penn State’” “No State Pen.” —Uklahoma Whirlwind Prof—Is this poem original? Stude—No, 1 made it up. —Washington Cougar's Paw Nurse (with baby’s bottle)—How would you like to watch me feed him, Johnny? Brother—Feed him? what? Hooray —Columbia Jester “Oh, Jimmy, ain't it cute?” —Onto Srare Sun Dian comicbooks.com