Judge — July 3, 1926 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE . “INVEST IN IGLOOS AND ICE” The North Pole boom is on. No sweltering heat. Absolutely cool— ice-boating skating, skiing, coasting, sleighing, fishing, hunting, golf, ice polo, etc, Send for summer booklet, —Nortu Pore Reauty Co. Gg BANISH THE TOBACCO ‘HABIT & a A rather good anecdote comes to us from New Brunswick. “I say, Joseph,” said a man to his companion, “I know of a new kind of mackintosh to keep out the wet.” “What is that?” asked Leopold. “Why, if you eat a red herring in the morning for breakfast, you'll be dry all day.” His companion merely scowled. The Outline of Humor By JupGe, Jr. (This, Ladies and Gentlemen, is the conclusion. Judge, Jr.’s signing off.) Ix W: jumpfrom here back across the ocean to the Civil War and the real cause of it. And you will certain- ly be surprised to know what it really was. It seems some of the Northern boys were playing along the river front across from Fort Sumter, telling riddles and killing time as boys will do, when one of them, a tall fair- haired lad with an honest face asked another young fellow “Why does a chicken cross the street?” Well, sir, the other young fellow, for that is indeed who it was, gave it up and the tall fair-haired lad replied with a twinkle in his eye “To get on the other side!” Well, sir, the other young fellow laughed so hard that he fell against a nearby cannon and it went off and what do youthinkit hit? Fort Sumter! That is where that famous line, “Fort Sumter has been fired upon!” came from and that is what caused the great Civil War! xX And now we come to the great catastrophy, the great World War and what really caused it. There have been many and varied explana- tions given but this one we think seems the most plausible. It seems the Archduke Francis Ferdinand, heir to the Austrian Empire, was on a visit to Sarajevo, the capitol of Bosn Well, sir, he met another Archduke one morning and he said to Ferdy, “Good morn- ing, old top, who was that lady I seen you with last night?” To which Ferdy, for that indeed was his name, replied, “That wasn’t no lady, that was my wife!’ We take the liberty of quoting from H. G. Well’s “Out- line of History”—“Events were per- cipitated on June 28 by the assassina- tion of the Archduke Francis Ferdi- nand, the heir to the Austrian Empire, here on a state visit to Sara- jevo, the capitol of Bosr This, we think, proves conclusively that after all humor has had a great bearing on history and we lay down our pen with the feeling that after all it is better to know the truth about historical matters, even at the cost of destroying romantic illusions. Sie semper fidelis! comicbooks.com