Judge — June 19, 1926 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ile Never Knew H E HAD only known her a week and was madly in love with her, but for some reason she was very, very cool and even refused to see him. “Ye Gods!” he cried and tore his hair. “Maybe I’ve got Halitosis!” He hied himself to the drugstore and purchased a case of Listerine. For a week he bathed in it, gargled it, even drank it in his coffee but still he received no en- nearest couragement. “Ye Gods!” he hoarsed, “maybe my face has that grimy look!” So he bought a dozen jars of Pond’s cold cream and creamed himself to a frazzl But still she remained aloof. Then he saw one of those “+ out of 5 have it” ads. “Eureka!” “That's it! I've got Py And he used up hundreds of tubes of Pepsodent, Hepsodent and Repsodent, but the line still He became desperate, and studied himself in the mirror. His face looked haggard. “Ye Gods!” he cried. “It’s prob- ably pep I lack!” and he ordered a can of Peptine. She was still out to him, however. He bought Books of Etiquette, Books of Knowledge, Books of every .sort and when he met her on the street he poured forth a veritable Niagara Falls of brilliant he cried. rhea!” was busy. ulled a cop. He joined the International Correspondence School and the next time he met her he rushed up and cried, “I got that raise!” Again she called a Gods!” he cried. ‘Truly something must be wrong with me! He sent her a telegram. “Please, for God's sake, tell me what’s wrong with me?” e wired back collect: Nothing that I know of except that you are a married man with six children.” Judge, Jr. cop. “Ye Famous Ads “——a boy!” “Up and—'em!" “—a baby!” Mur— Dry— -y little bit —ed to what you got am and eve Listerine. JUDGE mt is — | Cur Once on, it stays on and keeps on look- ing terrible! you have only one problem with the Cur Tie. That is to try to keep from being sold the craziest of designs tied into ties. Then your tie troubles begin. You try to slip the Cur Tie into place, it grabs you by the throat, and no matter what you do to take your mind off your agony—whether business, sport or formal function—your day is ruined. The Cur Tie is all set for you, clumsily knotted by stained fin- gers. None of its wrinkles will smooth. The Cur Tie is a sight. Thanks to the ©xzx%-shaped Innerform, your fingers have no influence over the damn thing. If you tug too hard, it will bite you; if you don’t tug, it will gradually choke you to death. And all the time it keeps you looking your worst. Feel for this ‘xzx%-shaped Innerform in the ties you buy. There are other ties which may be offered you instead of Cur Ties. For God’s sake grab them! Chews & Putty, Boston, Mass. Makers of Bull Dog Sewer Pipe, Fertilizer and Wigs—the Guar- anteed Bunk. Tie all tied for you l6c and down Hermon Filch Well-known young man- about-town, who is con- sidered one swell dresser, FREE Write for a free copy cf “How 1 Choked M Wife with a Cur Tic It also contains man other household uses for Cur Ties. ox “BUY A CUR TIE AND YOU'LL GET IT IN THE NECK” GIVE THEA GELLO AGAIN! EASY To MAKE, AND THEY Loveff tie comicbooks.com