Judge — June 12, 1926 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Unpublished Testimonials Or Why the Ad Men Have to Write Their Own Gertie’s Girdles for Graceless Girlies M: old man says I been gettin’ A too fat from a over amount of laziness even if he shouldn’t talk from bein’ the least good for nothin’ old fool in three counties becauze he ain’t never held a workin’ job more than till he found out that’s what it was and he had got mistaken and one night the bulls was after him and went right by he was movin’ so slow they thought he was a fire plug and I pulls a good one tellin’ him the only job he'd ever keep would be pickin’ flowers off of century plants and I take in washin’, mind the seven brats and work like h-ll to support the family. Anyways, maybe I was gettin’ a little plump as he’s a handsome man even if he is my husband and so I reads about your Gertie’s Girdles for Giant Girlies and now I got some and likes them lots, they was a wee bit too little for me rightly but I’m gettin’? my money’s worth just the same usin’ them for flashy garters like the debitonts. Richard S. Wallace rd The naval authorities are invited to inspect a new ray which, it is “Can you play golf to-morrow?” claimed, will split anything asunder “T'm getting married to-morrow.” within a radius of ten miles. No “Oh! Have you any other engagements this week?” lover of tinned sardines should be without one. —Humorist Now that an American has bred a combination of a turkey and a hen, it is hoped next to add a little bull- dog, and a dash of cow, so that the resultant animal will be able to lay eggs, supply milk, and bark at burglars. —Passing Show soe There’s now a car to every five people, which should limit each driver to four pedestrians. —Manila Bulletin Foe Magistrate—Do you mean to say such a physical wreck as he is gave you that black ey Sa We Complainant — Yer honor, he wasn’t a physical wreck till after he THAT WONDERFUL FLORIDA CLIMAT: gave me the black eye! Grow your own shade trees in ten minutes. Co-operative News comicbooks.com