Judge, 1926-06-12 · page 11 of 36
Judge — June 12, 1926 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers This satirical article mocks excessive talking ("jaw-wagging") as a distinctly American phenomenon. The piece humorously argues that verbal energy expended daily by Americans is immense and largely wasted, yet celebrated as a valued skill. The satire targets multiple institutions: business (the Wrigley Building supposedly built by talk alone), law and government (politicians promoted through talking, Congress passing 200,000 laws yearly), and divorce courts (idle chatter destroying marriages). The accompanying illustrations include a "Motorist's Primer" mocking a traffic cop's standard warning ("Where the h-ll do ya think yer goin?"), and an allegorical figure representing jaw-wagging's power. The implicit critique is that Americans conflate verbal facility with actual accomplishment, and that endless talking substitutes for meaningful action—a complaint that resonates across eras.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
There’s Beauty in Every Jaw [5 the development of power, science may harness everything from sunbeams to trout streams, but the The wags used in the United States in a single day, if stretched end to end would reach from Page 1 clear out beyond the three-mile limit. (Correct.) iable aw wags on forever. authority, much of th of energy is wasted, but Hoover, Congress or Henry Ford haven't done a thing about it, and science is so full of B.t.u.’s, h.p.’s and kilowatts, that they haven't invented a unit of energy to describe jaw power. This jaw-wa en ging goes clear back to olden times when a certain old bird wagged a jaw on a thousand Philistines with telling effect, and ever since, jaw-wagging has been the king of indoor, outdoor, year-round sports. But for the wagging jaw, no barn would sport a lightning rod, a tea party would be a wake, and scandal and scripture would sound alike. Jawa reeéding, preceding, under- shing, gold mounted, fur trimmed— they all wag, though with some variation; there’s the ball-bearing, double acting, straight eight tech- nique, that has sold over $500 worth of life insurance in the last ten years, Motorist’s Primer THE CoP Ts the cop si Yes, the cop i | What song is the cop singing? The song the cop is singing is “Where the h-ll do ya think yer | | i} ng a song? singing a song. | goin, Is it a pretty song? The cop thinks it is a pretty sony. The driver of the hydroplane at Santa Monica forgot about his tow and started for Duluth, Minn. and the ruminant style of action that made mail pouch ‘There's the one that idling—racing, clutch out and no brakes as it were—that causes most of the trouble in the world and keeps the divorce mill grinding. Many a man has prayed for lockjaw before finally praying the court, The wagging jaw alone built the Wrigley Building out in Chicago, and but for the wagging jaw, all the Greeks would still be shining shoes. famous. If the wagging jaw required oil, there'd be a service station every fifteen feet. Anyone who can jaw-wag suf- ficiently can get himself promoted to Washington, where the tourna- ment always on, is wagging out about 200,000 laws a year: and then the j wouldn't employ jaw-wagging has only begun—you n attorney who had a permanent case of lockjaw, would you? Witten Rumor A monologue is a conversation { between a realtor and a prospect. \ alge pays eu re printed comicbooks.com