Judge — May 29, 1926 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NEEDED INVENTIONS Why not a reversible head for hotel clerks when guest registers? Business Was Never Like This Wee had our share of laughs at the thought of running home on a business basis, but have you ever thought of how it would be to run a business in the way that Mrs. Averagewoman runs her home? We'll assume that Mr. Blinks, presi- dent of The Blinks Biscuit Com- pany, entering his office at nine o'clock in the morning, proceeds to start his day the way Mrs. Blinks is probably starting hers. Mr. Blinks (addressing stenogra- pher)—Good morning, Miss Parsons, how do you like my new Scotch tw That's fine. I’m so glad you . for some of the boys on the board of directors thought I looked better in blue. Well, now let’s see. We'll have to get half a dozen nice sharp pencils to use to-day and a pint of fresh, blue ink. You also might stop in at the stationer’s and get two or three ounces of crisp writing paper, but be sure it’s fresh. The paper s yesterday wasn’t the best quality and I do like to have fresh paper on the desk. . . . Then, maybe this afternoon we could e a nice conference. We haven't given a nice conference now in a week or so and I’m sure Mr. ‘0 enable them to read signature OISZY ADE “T call her Dora.” Because, “Somebody is al- ways slamming her.” Judge pays $5 for each one printed Perkins, the sales manager, Mr. Wat- son, the advertising manager and Mr. Hicks would just lore to come. And you know I could slip into my away during lunch hour. I think away is so appropriate at a con- jon’t you, Miss Parsons? I think a confer- ence would be just’ dandy, Mr. Blinks. But I think you should ask Mr. Murgatroyd from the factory. Mr. Blinks (petulantly)—No, I will not invite Mr. Murgatroyd. He didn’t invite me to the conference he held in the factory last week. But we'll have one just the we'll serve nice Pall Mall and I'll open a box of ciga hurry out, Miss Parsons and get the apers, the pencils, the ink and the cigarettes, so we can get started. Miss Parsons (mournfully) —But I don’t think I can come to the con- ference to-c Mr. Blinks. Mr. Blin Why what would a conference be without you there? You must come! Miss Parsons—Well, I'm wearing my pink georgette, and I had it on two weeks ago at the last conference, and you wouldn’t want me to wear the same dress to two conferences in succession—would you? Mr. Blinks (thoughtfully)—Run home, Miss Parsons, and slip on your black taffeta . . . black taffeta looks so well at conferences. Hugh Wood Parsons: IF DEMPSEY PLAYED BASEBALL His turn at the bat. comicbooks.com