Judge — May 15, 1926 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

your lore has turned aur Tn nt KGKT C55) Mere’s ¥ Tdowt XL of late 10 my tailor SOL” JUDGE pays $5 for each one printed A Helping Hand O« E time four jovial golfers resting at the seventh green, which lay behind a little hill, when a battered white ball came rolling over the rise and wobbled to the exact center of a particularly soft, sandy and arching bunker, some thirty yards away. The author of the unfor- tunate shot was not in view. “Let's give him a thrill,” suggested one of the jovial quartet. “We'll lift his ball and make him think he did the hole in one. Then what a laugh we'll have when we hear him spreading the news all over the club!” The suggestion was duly carried out and the ball neatly deposited in the hole just before a weary play crest of the hill, casting a roving but hopeful eye over the se y. The foursome greeted him th enthusiasm and wrung his hands warmly. “Here's where it rolle tracing a tortuous course across the green, with his mashie. “Just the right angle, just the right foree—a perfect shot—plop! into the hole The weary golfer pulled a much- thumbed score card from his pocket. “Good!” he murmured, That gives me a nine.” —Humorist upon a were soul- wandered over the cried one, Inherited “James, spell ‘cloth, "said the teacher. James was silent. “Come, come,” said the teacher, ‘you know the word. What is your coat made of?” ther’s old trousers,” replied the Square Deal Se “Did you hear that a man was murdered in the street last night for his money?” “Yes—but luckily he had ne money on him at the time.” Dorfbarbier (Berlin) tae He—Would you be very angry if I hugged you? She—Angry! I should be simply furious! How dare you suggest such a thing! If you try anything like that, I'll never to you again, and besides, this isn't a good place anyhow. —La Vie Parisienne A Spendthrift’s Sigh “Break, break, break on thy gray shores, O sea, But though you break forever, You'll ne'er be as broke as me cold London Opinion \ FUNNYBONES ) “People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw parties.” \ \“cige poe $5 for each one printed Take a Taxi! MAIXWARING. walking along in the West Vifties at four in the morning, felt’ no untoward sense of adventure. He ‘did not know that there are such abodes of delight as supper clubs, and 4 a.at. was like any other Hour to him. “He was interested in bacteria, sted in time nor place, Most of the night he ry; now he hurried mind on st iphyloouy und he hailed it, note of the nd on its port bow. And therein he d himself asa New Yorker. Dr. Main- odd as it may be, had one point in in with the lightest-hourted stepper-out tof the grand ull cabs to the As people yo, he was an f person, but he had one contact. And as long as there is contact there always is a chance of something happening — 1 Lots of things have heen lost in taxicabs and some things—hairpins and flasks and light loves, for instance—have been found there. ‘Arthur T.Munyan’s Manhattan taxicab tale, “Fifteen and in the current issue of SNAPPY Sronies, will delight you. You can get it at any newsstand for 20 cents, “No kick” without health. Solvents, DER PROPER berries, tomatoes, dissolve tumors, R Conpfiic jots, lime in ‘pints ONS atarrhal matter from nose, 'YORRHOEA. See reprint “Dental Digest’ NA’ Delivery painless, Eat nerve or muscle food to SUIT OCCUPATION, prevent undue retention of WASTE in blood (basis of all disease). Educational Booklet 10c. BRINKLER SCHOOL OF EATING, Dept. 16, 131 West 72nd St., New York. Tonic Appetizer Fericteeatize’ BITTERS SS within 8 ce Conductor of Charabane—(An ex-theater get excited, please, keep your seats! attendant)—Don't —London Opinion