Judge, 1926-04-24 · page 9 of 36
Judge — April 24, 1926 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers This page contains two satirical pieces from *Judge* magazine mocking early 20th-century urban inconveniences. **"My Ups and Downs"** ridicules the frustration of navigating a massive office building's elevator system. The narrator repeatedly enters wrong elevators—each with contradictory or absent signage—and encounters rude, dialect-speaking operators who refuse to help. The joke satirizes both poor building design and the gatekeepers' unhelpfulness. The punchline: he gives up and just phones instead. **"That Second-Hand Car"** and **"Motor Salesman"** mock the unreliability of used automobiles. The four-panel sequence shows a couple celebrating their final payment on a secondhand car, only to have it immediately fall apart ("and now it's—ours!"). The salesman's quip about putting it "in reverse" suggests the car spontaneously reverses or breaks down. Both pieces humorously capture common consumer frustrations—navigating bureaucratic systems and being duped by salesmen—that resonate across eras.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
My Ups and Downs ] ===> the forty-seven story Gargantuan Building in New York the other day and after walk- ing through the marble corridor, gazed at the index. There it was: Achilles Heel Company, twenty- third floor.” I approached the first group of elevators and walked confidently into number three. “Twenty-third floor!” I shouted and gazed benignly at the operator. Dis car makes no stops below de toitieth flaw: I stepped hurriedly out and across the corridor. An illuminated sign above the clevatorson this sidemerely read: “Local twenty-fifth-fortieth.” Without a moment’s hesitation, I darted in, just as the operator slammed the gate. “Twenty-third floor!” I bellowed. ‘The car was brought to a sudden, jolting stop and the operator turned to me. “Say, bo, dis car don’t make no stops below de twenty-fifth flawr. Can’t yuh read? Wait an’ I'll take yuh down again.” Back in the lobby, I rushed for the ators and read the sign above enty-third floor!” I shricked, rushing in. “Dis car don’t make no stops above de tenth floor,” answered the ag- grieved operator. “It’s a wonder youse guys don’t bring a nurse along to take care.of yuh.” Again I limped out and tried an- other battery of cars, above which there was no sign. I staggered into the first clevator and faintly whis- pered, “Twenty-third floor, please.” “Dis car don’t make no stops at all,” answered the youth, “we goes right up to de club on de top floor. All aboard.” Feeble, faint and winded, I crawled out and approached the only other battery of cars left in the lobby. “In the name of all you hold dear,” I begged of the operator, “take me to the twenty-third floor.” “Dis car don’t make no stops be- tween de ninth and twenty-fourth floors,” indignantly answered the operator. “Don’t bodder me no more. I gotta be goin Then I went back to my office and called them on the telephone. Hugh Wood wy, Motor Satesman—And now, madame, I will show you how to put it in reverse. THAT SECOND-HAND CAR. Well, Mary, this morning— I paid the last installment on this car- and now it’s— ours! comicbooks.com