Judge — April 24, 1926 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Giving them to my wife, I said, | “You told me to bring this back with me.” “Oh, yes,” she said and opened the package. “Why what are these for?” she inquired. “They can’t be for dinner, I have pot-roast.” “Maybe you wanted them for something else,” I suggested. “What do you need around the house? “Nothing but curtains,” she answered. “Then that’s what I brought them home for,” I told her. “Oh, thank you so much, dear,” she said, kissing me. And so we had supper and spent a nice domestic evening hanging the living-room lamb chops. Carroll Hail, the Conquering Hero! Tr years before he had left the little village, a knock-kneed, pigeon-toed, round-shouldered, tat- tered youth. Wisps of hay had peeped shyly from beneath his cap as he shuffled to the station. Now he was coming home. Two long years had passed and the prodi- gal was returning. The “boys from Volunteer Hose Company Num- ber 3 and The Village Band were at the station. Even the proprietor of The Mansion House appeared in his frock coat which had been in camphor since Ezra Hawkin’s funeral. Then the train rolled in and a tall, stalwart, erect figure in military uniform stepped to the platform. Six feet of lithe, straight manhood stood before the townspeople. Shiny brass buttons, a military cape, trousers with a red stripe down the side, shoulder epaulets and a magnif- icent cap with gold insignia com- pleted the uniform. “Welcome home, boy,” rasped Mayor Lem Fish, “proud to hev a famous General visit us. What regiment be ye commandin’?” A puzzled look came over the young man’s face. “Why, I’m not just a mere General, a soldier,” he said, obviously hurt by the impli- cation. “I’m above the Generals—” “What be ye, boy?” questioned Lem. The handsome figure drew itself erect. “I'm the second balcony usher at The New Atheneum Theater, New York’s largest movie house, seating 5,000 people,” proudly re- plied the young and_ resplendent personage, executing the same snappy salute that he used when escorting you to a couple of seats in the tenth row, center. Hugh Wood Lo — As it should be SINCE its extra cost, when spread over its billions of output, figures to but three cents per package of twenty, it is quite fair to say that Fatima, in between ‘costly’ and ‘popular’ in price, is decidedly more popular than costly FA “What a whale of a difference just a few cents make”? Liccetr & Myers Tosacco Co. The Way to a Man’s Heart When the fruit salad isn’t all apples, When the ice cream’s not served on warm plates, When in coffee the cream never dapples, When the menu means all that it states. When the pea soup, than water, is thicker, When the roast beef tastes good When the service, if any, is quicker, Or when kitchens contain better Then, darling, my love may go flying To another far fairer than you, But at present I am not denying That despite your weak points, you will do. —London Opinion 23 Percival—That was the most un- kindest cut of all, as the poet says. Penelope—What was that? “I showed her one of my boyhood pictures with my father holding me | on his knee, and she said, ‘My! Who is the ventriloquist? ” —Youngstown Telegram CLARK’S FAMOUS CRUISES comicbooks.com