Judge, 1926-04-24 · page 22 of 36
Judge — April 24, 1926 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes fake testimonials used in advertising. The "Unpublished Testimonials" header signals the joke: these are obviously fabricated endorsements that no real company would publish because they're absurd. The first testimonial mocks patent medicine ads by praising "Hooziss' Hoopla Halters for Hairless Hatracks" (nonsense product names) with illogical benefits—brushing teeth differently allegedly improves gas mileage. The "Funny Bones" section jokes that prohibitionists have "water on the brain" (are foolish)—a reference to 1920s Prohibition debates. The futuristic cartoon shows motoring to Europe via "revolving roadbed" in 2000—absurdist speculative fiction. The final testimonial about "Sparrow Collars" is deliberately incoherent, mixing unrelated anecdotes (subway accidents, trading vessels, fishing) that prove nothing about the product. The satire targets advertising's use of fabricated customer testimonials to sell products. By presenting transparently fake endorsements with surreal logic, Judge ridicules the entire testimonial advertising format as inherently dishonest.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Unpublished Testimonials Or Why the Ad Men Have to Write Their Own Hooziss’ Hoopla Halters for Hairless Hatracks I UsED to suffer so from the Sun- day comic supplements some- times it would be days before I could go back to work, and reading them didn’t help a bit nor could we see l our hand in front of my face it was i | so black. But at last one winter I was spending my uncle’s vacation . ina5, 10,1 5, 100, 500, and 1,000- \ cent store when I tripped over one of your Hooziss’ Hoopla Halters for Hairless Hatracks and right away I must of been another fellah. To-day I brush my teeth in and out instead of up and down like the directions say, and already we get from two to three miles more on every gallon and on clear nights we can even hear the Chimes of Normandy. So there. profitable than it used to be. ) The trouble with prohibitionists is water on the brain. ( sn Uudge pays $5 for each one printed Tony still keeps on with the old hand organ, but finds the business more (\CumsvBoves WS ( Us Pa Larirupe, THaT2, IN THE YEAR 2000 Motoring to Europe on a revolving roadbed. Sparrow Collars for Speechless Conductors About ten years from now my wife’s cousin and I was traveling at high speed through the lower reaches of the subway circuit when some- thing broke and we all fell into a deep silence. By the time we had climbed back into the hayloft the rainy season had set in and we had to live on seal skins and bread fruit until the trading vessel called and said it’s time to dress for Albany and never will I forget the way my cousin laughed because the Englis man had forgot to put a worm on his hook and naturally the respectable people wouldn’t go near him. So anyways I don’t like neither your semi-soft, sort-of-soft, or ultra- flabby collars, since my wife says I don’t look no more like the pic- tures than ever. Hoping you are the same, ete., ete. Richard S. Wallace comicbooks.com