Judge, 1926-04-03 · page 8 of 36
Judge — April 3, 1926 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers This page contains three satirical pieces from *Judge* magazine: **"The Suburbanites' Drama"** mocks middle-class commuters obsessed with catching trains home. The joke: a playwright could guarantee suburban audiences stay through entire plays by inserting train departure times into dramatic scenes. Characters interrupt romantic moments with reminders like "the 11.15 train" and "Oyster Bay express leaves from track three in exactly ten minutes." It satirizes how suburban commuters prioritize schedules over theater. **"Spring"** is meta-satire: the piece itself parodies pretentious poetry that "looks like poetry" when held at distance but isn't. It mocks readers who mistake elaborate formatting for genuine literary merit. **The bottom cartoon** shows someone shopping for theatrical costumes, wanting a "farmer's costume" to "fool the plants"—a simple visual pun about fooling vegetation with fake farmer attire. All three pieces target early 20th-century American urban/suburban culture and literary affectations with gentle ridicule typical of *Judge*'s satirical approach.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
WW De ysta—Evidently you don’t know how to behave in a formal garden. Jason—No, I was brought up on an abandoned farm. The Suburbanites’ Drama UBURBANITES, absorbed in the last acts of plays, frequently forget to leave in time to make the last train. Some astute theatrical pro- ducer can assure himself of an ever- lasting hold on the suburban trade by having his last act written in a manner somewhat like this: Heroine—Sir Murgatroyd, you'll never, never make me submit to your treachery! Murgatroyd—I'll make you, me proud beauty and if the folks from Great Neck don’t leave now they'll never make the 11.15 train. Heroine—That leaves me with but my honor and my pride. Murgatroyd—Train 241 for New Rochelle leaves in fifteen minutes. But the Murgatroyds never forget. Heroine—Forget? Hah, ha! You speak of forgetting when I know that unless the folks from Montclair leave at once they'll miss the 11.35. Butler (entering)—Dinner is ready, madam, in the gold dining-room, and the 11.23 is ready to leave for White Plains in ten minutes from track four. Heroine—Murgatroyd, you're on the wrong track. Murgatroyd—I may be, me beauty, but the Oyster Bay express leaves from track three in exactly ten minutes and unless the folks from there hurry they’ll miss it. Heroine—Well, I am yours then. Take me in your arms. Kiss me, kiss me. Murgatroyd—I will seal our love with my passionate kisses. They will mark the beginning of a new life for me. For me always now the straight and narrow path and I’d suggest that as soon as the curtain falls, the folks from Patchogue hop right down in the subway or they'll miss the 11.27. Kiss me, my darling, kiss me! Curtain “I want to get a farmer’s costume. and I want to fool the plants.” Spring HEN you read this You will probably Be surprised to learn It isn’t poetry. If you hold it off At a distance it will Look just like poetry; Try it and see! We just pulled this To prove that lots Of stuff that looks like Real poetry, isn't! R. C. O'Brien V Know R Ps and Qs! An SA on E-Con-O0-Me, by a Letter Laugher Is EZ 4 U Ys Is 2 4C the quick DK & ultimate DCs of the Western Union Telegraph Co. 4 if U R Ys, U will DV8 from custom, and Us the Letter Laugh System, which MN8s from JupGE, whenever U do NE telegraphing or 4N cabling. U XPD8 matters by deleting XS letters. Letter Laugh telegrams R the SNs of FE¢C. U will O less 2 the W. U. T. Co., 4 there is no D9 the MNCT of saving; & B¢4 all Ls, U must APs an M Tpurse by 4-10-8 Us of common ¢. NE 1, even an OBs head, should FUs over the FEKC of this system. V O JupcE D. Martin Shepherd I’m going to do a little gardening comicbooks.com