Judge — February 13, 1926 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Feminine Séance HE city lay a twisted mass of smoking ruins. Calamity, in the form of an earthquake, had visited the countryside during the previous night and in the cold gray light of dawn the little world lay stunned in the wreckage and confusion of catastrophe. Pavements were buc- kled like cardboard, trees and poles -cross in the streets, private ood like gaunt skeletons with walls fallen away and office buildings displayed huge cracks and crevices with copings and bricks lying piled in the streets below. Already the work of emergency reconstruction was getting under way. Red Cross nurses hurried in and out of temporary hospitals, soldierspatrolled the streets and huge trucks were pulling down the totter- ing ruins of partially destroyed build. ings. Groups of ha: laborers were slowly cl ily imported ring a nar- row path of transportation through the littered streets and linemen were busy with coils of rope and reels of shining copper wire. From the chaos of a natural catastrophe man was already beginning to restore a semblance of system and order. In the less confused space of what was once an important street. inter- section in the business district’ a grizzled army officer in major’s uni- form was busily engaged in receiving brief reports from his subordinates and issuing crisp orders to his cou- riers. A rather timid appearing gentleman with hair dishevelled and a sheepish look of painful guilt edged Numerous advance orders, from folks interrupted in their bathing. for this nickel plated combination bath fixture. closer and finally addressed the mili- tary official. “T'm really awfully sorry, sir, that this has happened,” he managed to stammer. “You sce my wife passed on a few weeks ago and she promised to communicate with me from the spirit. world. Emmy was always kind of impatient like but I had no idea she’d act up like this, Richard Wallace Jupce Nominates for the Hall of Fame ABRAHAM LINCOLN Beeacse his portrait is never mistaken for that of Rudolf Valentino: because he is not re- sponsible for nine-tenths of the anecdotes attributed to him: be- cause, by liberating the negro, he laid the groundwork for modern | jazz; but most of all because he made it possible to obtain, for a | | ridiculous sum, one of the finest | bas-relief portraits of the da | exquisitely | namely | wrought in copper. the St. Gaudens cents! | Trepidation alarm thebeauty of Kate, [v= wit I'm afraid I shall ask her to give mea date; I quake in my boots divine, she is really Shall I quaver the question, and ask her to dine? I mutter her number, she comes to the phone, Lask her, tone. “Tima id turn ashen pale at her 1 that T can’t,” it is queer, But alas it is true—how is fear! she replies ‘ontagious OUR BUREAU OF MISSING PERSONS The housewife who did her own marketing. It Was This Way MPLE SIMON met a pieman, going ‘D to the fair. Said Simple Simon to the pieman: “Hey, bo, wot kinda pie yuh got to-day?” Said the pic- man to Simple Simo! got apple. Wot kind d’yuh want?” And then the fight started. Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill said: “Uh-huh! Just) what I've If you'd look where you're going instead of watching those flappers you wouldn't be prospect for an emergency hospita Humpty-Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty-Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king’s men came running—they thought Wales had fallen again. He's a pretty good egg, at that. Old King Cole was a merry old soul. -Aimerry-old soll was he. He called.for his pipe and he called for his bowl and he called for his fiddlers three, and said: “If y’start "Yes, Sir, That's My Baby, Vl brain you!" Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating his Christmas pie. He stuck in his thumb, pulled out a plumb and said: heen expecting! Aw, ma, why d'yuh always make these ol’ plum pies? Why dontcha ever make lemon?” Little Miss Muffett sat on a tuffet, eating currants and whey. A big black spider down beside her and frightened Miss Muffett so that she ran home and told the usual applesauce about three big men in an expensive limousine trying to kidnap her. Chet Johnson comicbooks.com