Judge — January 9, 1926 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

One Jump Ahead of the Padlock— WHEN you're dancing at a club so popular that you can’t get your hand on your own hip-flask, you'll want to know where your 1926 red-hot mamma totes hers—and if you're a nice boy, you'll never know till you see the SUPPER CLUB NUMBER SNAPPY STORIES containing A Taxicab Guide to the Supper Clubs Complete list of the gayest of the clubs with their present addresses and (shh!) the names of the head waiters. Knights of the Night Clubs by Jony Hetp, Jr. Strange things may happen. You'll want our detailed in- structions for getting into the Mirador and getting thrown out of the Hotsy Totsy. One Jump Ahead of the Padlock by 4. W. Hayemany The most popular of the new clubs are almost exposed, and the pictures by Stout are a great help in knowing what to expect between dances. Supper Club Song for the Ukulele by Bossie Epwaavs And 23 other features, including gay fic- | tion, humorous sketches by Burbank, Patterson, Machamer, Stout and Plaisted, and burlesques by Samuel Hoffenstein. Now on all newsstands - - - 20 cents Help turn Manhattan into an isle of joy! 26 r Holmes “ Aycee Watson,” said the im- mortal Sherlock Holmes, stand- | ing on the porch of his heavenly | bungalow and bowing to the angels as they flew past him, “I've just re- ceived a letter from America. They | want me to come. They need me | and send me a long list of unsolved | mysteries. I’m fervently asked to | become mortal again, return to earth and solve them.” | “What are they?” inquired Angel | Watson, shooting a little banana oil | into his left wing. | “Here’s a partial list,” read Sher- lock: “Why do subway locals always pull | out just as the express trains pull into a station? “Why are Pullman porters always | addressed as ‘George?’ “Why do our neighbors’ one-tube radio sets always get Mexico City conversationally and not even the iocal stations when we're at their homes? “Which came first—the egg or the chicken? “What makes a business man tired? “Why do members of male quartets always look like bartenders? “Why do movie detectives wear square-toed shoes, derbies and smoke black cigars? “What has become of the Mah Jonger set? “When will America get prohibi- tion?” “Holmes,” interrupted Watson, “be a nice angel and stay here.” “No, I'm going,” said Holmes. “The world needs me. Its problems are too baffling—its mysteries too deep....” “Why do y ant to go back?” wailed Watson. “You'll get hit by taxi-cabs, develop indigestion, live in a stuffy flat, be subject to censors and censorship, give out interviews to inguiring reporters, wear tight collars, worry about the rent, drink synthetic gin, play bridge and be thoroughly miserable and bored. Why would anyone want to go back? In fact, why does anyone, in the first place, yourself included, ever want to stay on the earth anyhow?” “Watson,” — softly answered Holmes, hailing a taxi, “that’s the greatest mystery of all and the one I'm going to try and solve.” | Hugh Wood Muscatel™ “I Muscatel outa here!” - | Thé Return of Sherlock comicbooks.com A sund repro is fre heav