Judge — January 2, 1926 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Accused—I was not going thirty miles an hour—not twenty, not even ten; in fact, when the officer came up, I was almost at a stand- still! The Magistrate—I must stop this or you'll be backing into some- —Tatler thing. Forty shillings! Judging the Movies (Continued from page 19) teeth with the fork or crawling under the sofa and making faces at the | company. Well, this picture shows | you what happens to a little girl, especially such a piquant and win- some little girl as Colleen Moore can be, who disobeys her parents and goes on Zeppelin parties, sailing over London at night with a love-crazed poet. It is more than likely that an aviator in an airplane will charge head-on into such a Zeppelin and send everyone concerned hurtling in flames to Mother Earth. And although you may escape, as Colleen Moore did, from the twisted mass of exploding wreckage with hardly so much as a smudge, yet you will feel mighty sorry that you hadn’t heeded your mother’s warnings. Try it and see. Meek Pedestrian (marooned in the middle of the Strand)—What a | blessing I brought my lunch with me! | Souse your old man. —~ Judge pays 85 for each one printed Thank You Kindly! Old Lady (severely, to beggar)— Do you drink? Beggar (cheerfully) —Yes—where shall we go? —Happy Mag soe In a new super-cinema to be erected in London there will be a dance floor, a restaurant and read- ing, writing and smoking-rooms. As a concession to the old-fashioned prejudices of a section of the public I understand that a screen will be erected at one end of the building on which moving pictures will be shown. —Passing Show FHS A Turk has but to say “I divorce you” three times to his wife and he is divorced. An Englishman has but to murmur, “Phyll” once, and—if his wife's name happens to be Ethel—he’s got the Turk beaten to a frazzle. —Pink ’Un Rad “But,” protested the new arrival, as St. Peter handed him a golden trumpet, “I can’t play this instru- ment; I never practiced while on earth.” “Of course you didn’t,” chuckled the old saint. ‘‘That’s why you are here.” —Zion's Herald | —London Opinion comicbooks.com