Judge — January 2, 1926 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

It Isn’t the Gin— It’s the White Rock! T 11:45 on New Year’s Eve I looked £% about the room where forty people milled, and saw nothing of Barbara. She wasn’t at the punch bowl, or dancing, or in the faintly lighted library. I looked in all kinds of places for her and finally found her sitting all alone on the stairs, ravished by tears. “T'm lit!” she said “What have you been drinking?” I asked. She wept delicately for a moment “White Rock id she. I gibbered. “White Rock, my precious, is a spring water. There's nothing in it but water and bubbles.’ “There was g-gin in mine,” Barbara said, dabbing her e: “Oh, well, then, of course but she checked me scornfully “That,” she declared, “hadn’t anything to do with my being lit and my erying. can drink g-gin. It was the bubbles! "1 began, When love seta a flapper weeping into her White Rock on New Year's Eve, there's only one thing to do about it. Want to know what? Then consult the current issue of SNAPPY SvORIES, the magazine of the new generation. | Applause Card | | For the Funniest Contri- | bution of 1926 | Dear JupGe: I think the picture in this issue Entitled BY: sas « And the Text in this issue Entitled Should entered in the Contest for the Funniest Con- tribution of 1926. be (Name). | (Address) . . | (Week of January 2) ‘Ere’s “Hi, Jimmie, quick! ‘is neck!" Radio Statistics 12,967 separate and distinct or- chestras played 367,921 original ver- sions and variations on “Brown Eyes Why Are You Blue” during the month of December. This does not include vocal and instrumental solo renditions. 9,861 families, in the State of New York alone, were disrupted to the point of divorce because the lady of the house insisted on fiddling with the dials or asking questions about the game while the gentleman of the house called her names and listened to the annual football battle between Army and Navy. % aggregate hours were lost by one man alone in the State of Connecticut during the past month in trying to get distance after 3 A.M. as against 114 hours when he suc- cessively got New York, Boston and Providence. “TI told him he was a brute, and “And what did the wretch do?” “Sent me a dozen boxes of face taken home on his coat!” a fe Her wot can slide on the back of Humorist $597 went into the coffers of the telephone company last month when a whistling solo was broadcasted and mistaken by 11,940 people who thought it was static and phoned the The one man who didn’t think it was statie lived in Wilmington, Del., and was right in spite of that. Precisely us service station. 20,018 recorded by L “vurry- Vurry’s” were an- nouncers working from night clubs after 11.30 eastern standard time { never give house room to a radio set 5,700 people who swore tl and who got one last month spent a merry 30 days explaining to their friends how they just got it for their wife, mother, kiddies (vote for one) and how they are really quite sur- prised, but they are enjoying it them- selves and “won't you come up some night and hear it?” Carroll returned all his beastly presents.” powder in retum for what he had London Opinion comicbooks.com