Judge — January 2, 1926 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Here’s How! NNIVERSARIES are nuisance enough when they celebrate something besides the passage of time. But when, like New Years, they do that and nothing else one would suppose that sensible people would ignore them as completely as possible and try to forget that the calendar was done with another unit of their life span. But humans, God bless them, are not rational beings | and so they welcome each new year with noise and booze as if the flight of time were a horse race and they had money up on Grim Reaper. Or do they really believe that by changing the digit at the extreme right of the date they are also changing their luck? Well, anyway, here’s to 1926! the satisfactions you crave. discretion ¢ May it bring you all May you find love where ates and fortune where you least expect it and health without seeking it, and may you call every man friend, especially the revenooer. tee ae Wine we are about it, do you mind if we express a few specific wishes for the new year? Wishes are much more fun than resolutions and vastly easier to keep. And they are quite as tonic. We have all experienced those moments when we can't think of anything we really want and have recognized them moments of life. the lowest All the stimulus there is in life comes from wanting things and trying to fool yourself into the belief that some day you're going to get them—‘‘deceiving ourselves with dreams until the day of death,’ sant has put it. So please let us toy with our d frankly (they are just as likely to come true in 1926 as any | other time) and since they cost nothing, may the devil take the least extravagant. tae ee No pousT you have already guessed our first wish. + It is, of course, that Prohibition shall go the way of Mah Jongg and “Yes, We Have No Bananas.” What a country we'd have but for this insensate blight that rests upon it like a mental disease. As if it were a crime to want, or get, a drink! As if it weren't a crime not to | nt, or get, one! Especially on New Years, the day we celebrate in utter defiance of the rea jon that we | are all a year older. et st Ht te | (C)vR second wish is that. the Ku Klux and the Ku Khis spirit should melt into insignificance. After all, that was a gorgeous ideal of the Fathers that in this coun- try, if nowhere else on this fretful globe, there should be Maupas- ns quite Dramatic Editor, George Jean Nathan, complete religious and racial tolerance. Very likely it is an ideal impossible of attainment. But before the Ku Klux arose to deny it utterance it expressed a national wish as keen as it was quixotic. Let's hope for the restora- tion of the wish, at least, during this magic se ew ww WwW: HOPE, that movie, literary, dramatic, artistic and diplomatic—get the sethack of their live We have had some harsh things to say about Old Lady Kellogg at the Department of State. But al) we wish for him is a well-earned retirement in the fastnesses of his adopted Minnesota where he can still consider himself Horatius at the Bridge or Leonidas at Thermopylae without any further consequences to his country. And if the members of the Clean Books League and the morons who fashion our movie morals and all the rest of the crew that seeks to dictate what we shall read and hear and see would join him there, why, we are siire the country would consider doing something handsome for Minnesota in compensation. 2 also, the censors: to 2 I: IT too much to hope that in this year of grace the Anti-Evolutionists will into their sectarian subcellars? Nothing is too much to hope, not even that the blue law birds will take flight to warmer climes (we won't say which) or that reformers as a class will treat 1926 as their sabbatical year. Prohibition.) subside (It's the seventh year of national + ow ry Ay» now for happier and lighter subjects, like the coal 4 ® strike andthe threat of nosummer and the crimewave. It seems the height of optimism to hope for a settlement of the coal strike during the innocent year just dawning. But we should like to see a settlement even if Gifford Pinchot gets the credit for it, and that is being as ardent about it as we know how. real summer. * And of course we must have a All this scare head talk about sun spots: recurrence of the “year without a summer’ must be wished against with all our might. of Wilburs than no summer. rae A\s For crime—one way of reducing it is to cut down the number of things « anc Better a whole cabinet to oe sed as crimes and then to con- centrate on preventing and punishing the remainder. Our wish is that in 1926 a modest beginning be made in this direction even if it be necessary first to hogtie the reformers and padlock the legislatures. eee ae ee A’ oh yes, the franc. May God, or Morgan, help it, and spare the world any more fascism! WW. M. H. comicbooks.com