Judge — December 26, 1925 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Am COON TIC! IN THE HOME OF THE EDITOR OF THE HOUSEHOLD HINTS DEPARTMENT Wrre—Charlie, do you suppose you could help me open this jar of jam? Eprtor—No. HINTS TO HOUSEWIVES by Don Herold OUSEWIVES ate more hinted H at than any other class in the world. Where other people get a text-book, housewivesget a hint. I would like to have written lengthy articles on each of the following sug- gestions but restrained myself with the question: Will the housewife who has been hounded with hints understand articles as well as para- phs? “No,” I replied to myself, candidly. This answer was somewhat of a disappointment, but I took it bravely. If I must spoil eighteen good articles by reducing them to eighteen hints, I must. So I hint as follows: To soften water for washing, speak to it soothingly in a low tone of voice. A pad and pencil make an excellent memorandum outfit. Electric fans should be resharpened every season. Of all domestic animals, the poached egg is the most sensitive. Everybody should see the café life of New York before he dies. An old typewriter ribbon makes a delicious salad. When cranking a dollar watch, be careful not to get kicked. A speedometer company in Wis- consin has invented a wheatcake register to attach to the side of the breakfast plate. A bell rings, every tenth cake. A London professor has invented a machine that will toast 100,000,000 slices of bread in eight hours. We LEE a - LOSE ae MON 8 did not know there were that many slices of bread. You can make money at home whittling nutmegs for one of the big nutmeg companies. You can increase your stock of phonograph records by taking a large Magazine with you when you go to a friend’s house, and slipping a few of your favorites between the leaves when you depart. A pair of snowshoes can be made out of two old guitars. Scotch waterfalls are estimated to possess a million horse power, but this does not lighten woman’s work. The first bathroom sponge was domesticated in 1643. A sock full of burned out electric light bulbs under each arm will be of great assistance to any one learning to swim. A pair of scissors is very good for taking ink stainsout of handkerchiefs. When a picture becomes as popular as “Pharaoh’s Horses” it is a curse and a pestilence instead of a blessing. Never quote Omar Khayyam. AIS The hum of conversation when a party of women get together usually means that some one is going to get stung. SIH Fish is a brain food. Think of the knowledge required to open a can of sardines. IIs The drunken driver’s only excuse is that he didn’t know he was loaded. Sani How the game of “Post Office” would be played if the U. S. Postal 18 comicbooks.com ence Pr ‘a