Judge — December 5, 1925 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Hair Removed Forever —New Safe Way! No More Unsightly Hair on Face, jeck, Arms, Underarms, Legs. Discovery Lifts Out Hair Roots—Safely and Gently. ERE it is at last—a scientific treatment perfected for home use which not only temoves the hair, roots and all, but actually destroys the growth forever! Dr. Irwin’s Home Treatment for the per- on removal of superfluous hair is an enti: new discovery—extraordinary—yet absolutely safe and harmless. Does Jot merely remove hair temporarily, but attacks cause of hair growth, gently easing away the Toots, and its repeated use safely and surely destroys the growth, ridding you forever of all superfluous hair. No electricity, no muss, no bad odors, no unbearable pain. You simply spread a soothing balsam over the unwanted growth and remove it in a few seconds to find every objectionable hair lifted right out by bax) nthe the skin left exquisitely smooth and FREE BOOK TELLS ALL Write for fascinating booklet describing Dr. Irwin's remarkal treatihent and how it will pt. 61 ‘ou may send pe. ive Sx without obligation, your Ye interesting Lttie New Way to Re Superfacts Hair Permanently” 7 ot? Rretng B pri wrestler. sleacene mt Think Twice About Florida (Continued from page 10) Just take the goldfish, for example. If you are a semi-millionaire, it costs thousands of times as much to keep goldfish as it does if you are a poor man and merely buy a couple of goldfish at the ten-cent store. To begin with, you will probably buy thoroughbred goldfish, and everybody knows that as the breed of goldfish goes up, their vitality goes down. Out of a half dozen well-bred goldfish, two of them will be sick nearly all of the time. Well-bred goldfish are nervous, high- strung, weak-livered, and given to sore throats, indigestion, distemper and moodiness. Your wife will be in a constant state of worry as to their health. She will go to the goldfish club and pick up expensive ideas on goldfish diet. No longer will scraps from the dinner table suffice for their food. They must have special goldfish seed, which comes at about two dollars an ounce. You will be having the veterinarian at all hours of the day and night, and his charges will be merciless, when he is welcomed by three butlers and shown into the music room with the pipe organ. He knows how much you love your goldfish and he sees your display of wealth, and, wowie, he soaks you good. And he will as likely as not prescribe a day and night nurse. If one of the goldfish dies, you are practically forced to give it an ex- pensive burial in the Lad-de-dah Goldfish Cemetery at Hartsdale. And then there is the goldfish liability insurance. Being a rich man, you must pro- tect yourself against scheming ser- vants who may claim that they have been bitten by one of the goldfish and enter suit against you for $100,000. (Do you still want to go to Florida?) If you take a trip, you must place your goldfish in the hands of some good goldfish boarding house, and the landlady sizes up your Rolls Royce and soaks you the price of a college career for goldfish board. It costs so much less to be poor than it does to be rich. Out of your $10,000 income how much will you have left after you have looked after your highbrow goldfish for a year? Your dogs will sneeze away another thousand or two. Chauffeurs will destroy your motor cars, The tinner will ruin the roof of your house, and the plumber will destroy yout plumbing The electrician will blow your electric light fuses. The city will improve your street. Moths will eat your oriental rugs, and rust will sense your wealth and stop up your bath pipes. You will want to travel but you will not be able to get away. Why be wealthy? Your telephone service will be worse instead of better. It will take just as long to get Stamford 277. You can’t play on more than one golf course at once. The difference between dollar cigars and two-for- a-quarter cigars is largely a super- stition. Neckties will accumulate and strike you with indecision every morning. You will have so many collars that you can’t find the one you want. You will be in a terrible fix. And, since your expenses have pytamided, your financial situation will be much more precarious than it was when you had a modest number of bonds which your wife knew nothing about. Oh, it will be a pretty state of affairs. Now, will you go to Florida? No, just stay where you are and plug along, hoping for the worst. comicbooks.com ae