Judge, 1925-12-05 · page 13 of 36
Judge — December 5, 1925 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis for Modern Readers **"Why Serve on a Jury?"** is satirical advice by Chet Johnson on evading jury duty. The joke: if you're summoned, insult the judge directly and threaten violence—you'll be jailed for contempt rather than serve on the jury. The cartoon mocks both citizens' reluctance to serve civic duties and the justice system's inefficiency. **"Ballads of a Wife"** contains three unrelated pieces: a superstition poem (a woman blames a ring for her bad luck, not traditional superstitions), an illustration captioned with a marital joke (a husband suspects infidelity), and social commentary on new slang expressions like "one!" (meaning wonderful) and "an' how!" (meaning agreement). The author threatens to shoot anyone using the latter phrase. The page also advertises popular songs and a humorous "Night Club" idea: call it "The Padlock" (referencing Prohibition raids) and issue keys instead of cards to members. The overall tone reflects 1920s American social humor and cultural references now historically distant.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Why Serve on a Jury? Ts is only one way to avoid being hooked for jury service— be firm with the judge and show him you absolutely do not want to serve. When you ate summoned to report, hand the judge something like this: Say! Where d’yuh get this bo- logny? Me serve on a jury? Guess again, brother. What’s the big ideer of having me waste my time coming down here to answer a lot of fool questions? D’yuh think I’ve nothing else to do but hang around court waiting on you? Well, I'ma busy man, kiddo. And if you ever send a deputy sheriff around to haul me in here again I'll stick my fist two inches in your face. Who put you up there on the bench? I did, see? Me and a bunch of other voters and taxpayers. “Don’t give me any dirty looks. I don’t serve on this jury or any other jury. A fine oil can you are! Calling me down here to . . say, I’ve a notion to climb up and paste you one just for good luck!” This is an absolutely guaranteed money-back-if-it-don’t-work plan for getting out of jury duty for at least six months. You'll be in jail that long, anyway. Chet Johnson Ballads of a Wife Superstition A BORSESHOE brings the finder luck, A four-leaf clover, too; To pick a pin up off the street Will bring good luck to you. A cracked or broken looking-glass Bad luck is bound to bring; But all the bad luck that I’ve had Has been caused by a ring. The busiest man in the country He shines the dimes for Rockefeller. He—Who was that lady I seen you with last night? Sue—Must have been two other fellows! —-- SS A new expression right straight from deah old Lunnon, via “Charlot’s Revue,” seems to be taking on no end. It is usually used this way: “He's a one!” or “What a one!” Being very quick at those things I gather that a “one” is a vera, vera wonderful person. =—— There's also another expression go- ing the rounds. “An’ how!” I have purchased a nice shiny re- volver, from a wife who has no further use for it, and the first per- son I hear using said expression is going to be shot on sight. a We've got a brand new idea for a Night Club and we heseby offer it gratis to the restaurateurs. Call it “The Padlock” and give all the members keys instead of cards. —p— The Six Best “Steppers” : “A Cup of Coffee’—(Charlot’s Revue). “Sweet Peter”—(Dearest Enemy). “D'ye Love Me?”—(Surny). “Daphne”—(Florida Gir.). “I Wonder Where My Baby Is To-night”—(No Show). “Walking Home With Josie’— (The City Chap). Gry comicbooks.com~