Judge, 1925-11-28 · page 20 of 36
Judge — November 28, 1925 — page 20: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces from Judge magazine: **"Justifiable Homicide"** mocks courtroom decorum. A man strikes another with a rock after being insulted—the judge stops him before he can repeat the slur in court, then directs the jury to acquit him for "justifiable homicide," satirizing how certain insults were considered so offensive they warranted violence. **"Complaint"** by George A. Paravicini ridicules class anxiety: a man cuts off a woman after learning her father was a hod carrier (manual laborer), not a contractor, though she'd been a "brick" (reliable person) all along—mocking snobbish social climbing. **"The Wandering Jew"** nominates the legendary figure for a "Hall of Fame," praising him for never settling in New York, always maintaining anonymity, and crucially, never blaming his misfortunes on ignorance of etiquette—a satirical jab at blaming social failure on poor manners. **"Watchful Waiting"** humorously complains about vagrants who volunteer to guard parked cars overnight, seeking tips. **"Lizzie Labels"** and **"Who's Who?"** are humorous section headers soliciting reader submissions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
It is considered very bad form to precede a lady out of an aeroplane. Justifiable Homicide RISONER at the bar: The in- dictment charges you with hav- ing struck the deceased with a rock, the first weapon you could lay your hands on. What have you to say?” “Judge, it was this way: This man and I had always been pretty close friends. But last night I passed him on the street with his wife. She had on a hat that drooped over her face and I didn’t recognize her. “Later I met him and inquired, very politely: ‘Bill, who was the lady I just saw you with?” “And I grabbed the rock and caved in his skull when he said: ‘Joe, that was no lady that. . .’” “Stop! Don’t finish! Don’t dare tell the jury what he said. I can’t have bloodshed right here in open court. Gentlemen of the jury, you will at once return a verdict of ‘not guilty by reason of justifiable homi- Complaint ‘ow how was I to know That Betty’s father Used to be A hod carrier? For all I knew He had been A contractor All his life. I swear it wasn’t fair For her to suddenly Cut me cold Just because I said That I knew In the very beginning She had been a brick. George A. Paravicini Jupce Nominates for the Hall of Fame THE WANDERING JEW Braves the curse upon him prevents his ever taking up a permanent residence in New York; because though he’s walked his millions of miles, he’s done it all without anyone’s patent rub- ber heels; because, unlike the Prince of Wales, he has always succeeded in preserving his in- cognito; but most of all because he never laid the cause of his downfall to, unfamiliarity with the Book of Etiquette. Wills << AM of your own,” He wisely said, “Is what you need, If you'd get ahead.” Young Sapleigh laughed, “You know what’s what, But my aunt’s will Helped me a lot!” Edgar Daniel Kramer Watchful Waiting we ‘ER I stop and park my Some hobo. spots me from afar, And o’er my antiquated fliv Assumes a bold prerogative— Some tattered, churlish, brazen wight Becomes a watchman in the night. No matter where I choose to park— On boulevard or side street dark— By movie show or thoroughfare, I always find a watchman there, Who volunteers (that guy’s got crust!) To guard ’gainst bandit, moth or rust, And asks me if he may not try To exercise his watchful eye. As if my old, asthmatic bus Deserved so much protective fuss! As if a crook would deign to steal That boat when all around are real Rolls-Royces’ tempting, tired tracks And Packards, Moons and Cadillacs! Wherefore, I moan and groan and whine— Won't some one steal that car of mine? Hugh Wood UZZIE @ IABELS “Churning—just for you.” JUDGE will pay 85 for each one printed Who’s Who? Judge is sick of hearing about the Big Butter and Egg Men from the West. Let's hate some new oneal 85 will be paid for each one printed. In cases of duplication the first one received gets Pie ive ee Send them, in to the “‘ fs Who” w of Judge, 627 W. Ponrythect a street, N.Y. cide.’ ” Chet Johnson comicbooks.com a ae