Judge — November 21, 1925 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ASK DAD—HE KNOWS Why He Smiled The Japanese emperor smiled upon the court. “And what,” he asked, “what news of the war?” “There are, your majesty,” an- swered the prime minister, “reports of a battle off the coast.” “I am convinced,” observed the emperor with a twinkle; “I am con- vinced that if there has been any trouble on the ocean the Russians are at the bottom of it.” —Judge, 1904 _No Wonder Jaspar—I hear there has been a big washout on the P. D. Q. railroad. Jumpuppe—Some of the water has leaked out of the stock, I sup- pose. —VJudge, 1901 sas Truth may be stranger than fic- tion, but it is not nearly so con- vincing. —Judge, 1903 Sal Josher—I noticed you had on your $3.98 raincoat in yesterday's storm. Do you still think it a great bargain? Buncode—No; I got soaked. —Judge; 1905 Pas Dudley—Lusher always goes up- stairs from the club in his stocking feet. Douglas—That's because his wife scares him out of his boots. —Judge, 1912 7 C.J. Taylor in Judge, 1903. A MUTUAL DIFFERENCE Mr. Newtrwep—Your salads ain't like my mother used to make. Mrs. Newtywep—Well, your salary ain’t like my father used to make. BETWEEN THE ACTS He—You say the automobile ac- cident was caused by a misplaced switch? Sue—Yes; the dear girl tried to Siz it and steer her auto at the same She — (enthusiastically)—Oh, I would have given anything in the world for that vase! He—Well, why didn’t you buy it? She—Buy it! Why, the man wanted fifty cents for it! —Judge, 1900 An Eager Quest I understand the laws of art, T've pored o’er much philosophy; T’ve studied Hegel, Kant, Delsarte, But fail to comprehend Marie. Aesthetics I have lingered o’er, Law, logic and cosmogony, And other sciences galore; But, ah! Marie quite puzzles me. So, though I’m fast in learning’s clutch (Minerva’s but a fickle jade) Will some one tell me just how much 5 It takes to know a simple maid? —Judge, 1905 comicbooks.com