Judge — November 21, 1925 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Football Explained From is a great game and it appeals to the imagination of the populace because itisa combination of many sports: running, jumping, hurdling, fighting, wrestling, sub- way riding, deep sea diving (on wet fields), bloodless surgery, putting the shot, piano moving, dog catch- ing, cops and robbers and scrambling for pennies, to mention a few. There are eleven whole players on each side when the game commences and the idea is to see that nobody gets into the stadium without a ticket. Before the game several skinny fellows with white breeches, tight- fitting sweaters and megaphones start waving their arms, jumping up and down before the crowds and yelling through their megaphones. The fellow who jumps the highest without spraining his ankle and yells the loudest without spraining his jaw wins the crowd, which then joins in the second verse, getting louder and better all the time. After that there is a lot of coughing, then a little gargling and all is in somebody catches the guy with the ball and sits on him until help comes, the crowd yells and the little fat man runs across the field and blows his whistle. Then the usher comes and asks you to let him look at your stubs again. While you are searching your pockets for them the people sitting in back of you insult you and you threaten to call a policeman— although you know only too well that he’d never hear you with so much noise going on, Bimeby you locate the stubs in the band of your derby and the usher explains that they entitle you and your friend to seats at the other end of the place. He points out the place to you and it looks to be about half a mile away—but it is really farther. Congratulating your- self that you are at least in the right stadium, you start the long walk around the place, figuring that it is better to hoof it inside the grounds than to go outside and take chances on having to wait a good while for a trolley and then not being able to of trouble — tenderand bleedin ie gums AS the soil nour- ishes the tree- roots the gums nourish the teeth. And Gums and teeth alike will be : gad your tern wil scient re ie If gum- shrinkage has ber ae start using and consult a. dere tust immediately for get inside the arena once again. By the time you arrive at your destination you find your own seats taken but you don’t mind, as you hear some one say: “Only two readiness for the game. The ball is placed in the middle of the field, a little fat man blows a whistle and all the players with red jerseys on start running and then one of them who thinks he’s smart kicks the ball instead of picking it up and a fellow down at the other end of the field—a fellow wearing a blue jersey—catches the ball and starts running as if the thing didn’t belong to him. Then the players start knocking each other down, minutes to go and the game’s over.” On your way out somebody slaps you on the back and yells: “Some game, eh?” After knocking him down you hurry to the spot where your car ought to be, telephone in an alarm to the police and return home by train. R. C. O’Brien “How much farther have we to-go, George?” “Only about another three summonses.” —Passing Show 23 special treatment. Jn 35c and 60¢ tubes atall druggists inthe United States. Formulaot R.J.Forhan,D.D.8, FORHAN CO, New York Forkan’s, Ltd. ‘Montreal 627 West 43d Street, New York, N.Y. I want JuDcE for myself. I have checked below the offer I accept. Perewith is $1.00 (check, cash, stamps money-order) for 10 weeks of JUDGE. Herewith find $5.00 (check, cash, money-order) for one year's subscription to JUDGE.