Judge, 1925-11-14 · page 11 of 37
Judge — November 14, 1925 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page: Football Satire This page satirizes college football culture through multiple angles: **"Football Training for Spectators"** (by Hugh Wood) mocks the elaborate "preparation" spectators supposedly need, listing absurd "tests": enduring rain and cold, spotting players from airplane height, drinking whatever's offered while staying loyal to one's school, smoking without igniting fur coats (fashionable at the time), affording tickets without pawning possessions, and—for married men—explaining the game 500 times to wives. The humor targets both the sport's weather-dependent inconvenience and the excessive drinking culture at games. **"Tremendous Moments"** shows Shakespearean actors performing a goal-kick scene from *Hamlet*, conflating high drama with football absurdity. **"How about a Government reservation for pedestrians?"** sarcastically suggests pedestrians need federal protection from traffic, shown via cartoon of people being hit by cars—a swipe at urban danger and careless driving. **The football helmet cartoon** jokes that new helmets caused confusion but produced "soreheads among the victors"—a pun on both injuries and poor sportsmanship. The overall tone reflects 1920s-30s skepticism toward football's cultural prominence.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Football Training for Spec- tators Gpectatons intending to view the football games this season will find it necessary to start active train- ing at once. The intercollegiate spectators’ conference suggests the following: Rain Test—The ability to stand a four-hour soaking with the thermom- eter at thirty-nine above zero. Eyesight Test—Go up two miles in an airplane and count the number of people being run over in an hour at a given crossing. This is in- valuable for distinguishing players’ numbers from the last row of the stadium. Flask Test—Mix equal parts tur- pentine and shellac. Take before and after meals for three weeks. This will enable you to accept a drink from every proffered flask and still remember what college you are cheering for. Fur Coat Test—The ability to smoke a cigarette without setting your raccoon coat on fire. Finanacial Test—The ability to buy two tickets for any game and still keep the aforementioned raccoon coat out of hock, Patience Test (for married men only)—Being able to tell her 500 times an afternoon why that man, with the bloody nose and torn stock- ings, is carrying that muddy ball in that direction on the slippery field. Hugh Wood Me Wess Par Pion TREMENDOUS MOMENTS The goal-kicking scene from “Hamlet.” Here lies the body of Eddie Garvard, He went and bet his Life on Harvard! Pi re oe nile ay $5 10F ach one pra Al How about a Government reser- vation for pedestrians? The Call of Fall tone for the whistle that starts the play, I long for the thud of the punt, I long for the plunge, and the get- away, And the thrill of a grandstand stunt. I want the suspense of the forward pass, With its wild pandemonium; I yearn for them all, plus a pretty lass And two seats in the stadium. The new football helmets did cause enough confusion to the opposing team to capture the game but there were a great many soreheads among the victors.