Judge — November 7, 1925 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

the | y the nor ould man “The moon was full ennui were Mind and Matter AX Traian scientist maintains that he has conclusively proved that the human mind broadcasts regular radio messages. In a locked room he worked out his theory with susceptible patients. That’s old stuff! For ten years my wife has been broadcasting to me a weekly and daily and hourly program on a permanent wavelength. Something like this: Breakfast (Not a Word Is Spoken) 8 to 8.30 a.m.—Don’t forget to buy that wire netting for the chicken coop—why don’t you learn to shave just beneath your nose—will you ever learn to stop soaking your rolls in the coffee—I wonder if that red- haired stenographer means any good —hurry, now, or you'll miss your train. Supper (Again Absolute Silence) 7 to 7.30 p.m.—Why don’t you ever surprise me by bringing home a box of candy—too bad about you, not even thinking of bringing home theater tickets once in a whole—I suppose after supper you'll play solitaire and go to bed—or maybe take me up in the gallery to the cheap vaudeville show—believe me, until I married, I never knew a theater had a balcony. Bedtime (Not a Syllable Is Uttered) You certainly don’t look like the pyjama ads in the magazines—there was a time when you kissed me good night—why do you snore that way— T'll bet Valentino doesn’t snore at night—if you had any consideration you wouldn’t let me sleep next to the cold, draughty window—why don’t you buy a decent suit—I’m ashamed to have the Webers see you looking this way— Mental broadcasting, ch? I’ve been a walking receiving set since the time when Dumb Dora thought Marconi was a member of the noodle family. Hugh Wood FAS The Frenchman did not like the look of a barking dog barring his way. “It’s all right,” said his host. “Don’t you know the old proverb, ‘Barking dogs don’t bite?’ ” “Ah, yes,” said the Frenchman, “I know ze proverbe, you know ze proverbe; but zc dog—does he know ze proverbe?” —Tit-Bits Married couples often have words but only the wife uses them. ‘Judge pays $5 for each one printed $6760 anne ————_~ “Do you have house detectives in this shop?” “We do, madam.” “Well, I wish you’d put me in touch with one. You see, I only want a packet of safety pins, but I’m a bit of a kleptomaniac.”” —Passing Show The Bory Packarp 815 TONS PER DAY Ja the average welght pounded over 180 bon pends, Note wherein Genet 8 “Note alt whe weight Somes within the ANATO! shoe (ice right plctare) Prevents Foot Trouble We might be wrong about this, but a 20 year record could not be Two generations of men have worn ANATOMIK shoes for prevention and telief from all forms of foot trouble such as “‘flat foot”, and so called “brok- en arches”, etc. with a record of 20 years If we haven't a dealer in your city we will sup- ply you promptly direct from our factory. FIELD & FLINT CO., Brockton, Mass. Also makers of “Korrect Shape’ Shoes for Men Send for booklet Notice to Judge Contributors 'O MANUSCRIPTS will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed return envelope, and owing to the thousands of contributions sent into this office each week, it is impossible to enter into personal correspondence regarding them. Do_not enclose tage for FUNNY- BONES or EPILAUGHS as they will not be returned. In cases of duplication, the first one re- ceived will be accepted. For prompt attention address manuscripts, in separate envelopes, to the following de- partments: Manuscripts—Literary Editor of Jupce, Funnybones—Funnybone Editor of Jupce, Epilaughs—Epilaugh Editor of Jupce, Crossword Puzzles—Crossword Puzzle Edi- tor of JUDGE, Lizzie Labels—Lizzie Label Editor of JupcE. 627 West 43d Street, New York City FOR DANDRUFF GLOVER'S exercises an antiseptic effect, on the diatisy Cleanses, tes.Send for page on. EE. amrnican CORRESPONDENCE SCH SCHOOL OF | OF LAW Bors & $2.00 Given “NO WORK GIRLS Simply sell 50 Sets of Our Famous Christmas Seal: Boe 10ca set. When sold send id ta We Trust you until Christmas if nec thetican Xmas Seal Co., Dept. 33, Brooklyn. I NY.