Judge — October 24, 1925 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Unpublished Testimonials - Or the Ad Men Have to rite Their Own Ozogood Ozone for Brindled Bozos AT serving for nearly twenty years in Coxey’s Army I finally got a job ringing belles on Fifth avenue buses, but the work was too confiding and I found myself run- ning down at least half the time, if not less, Life seemed to hold no interest for me, and my only ambi- tion was to meet up in a dark alley some night with the gentleman, if at all, who invented the shadow- proof skirt for summer wear. You may consider this a slip, but it really doesn’t matter a great deal since I have bought some of your Ozogood Ozone and expect to do away with myself shortly. We're moving to Metuchen. Garter’s Little River Ills While horseback riding one after- noon between New York and Chicago I happened to look out of the window and saw one of your cute little signs on some farmer’s barn, telling all of us to take Garter’s Little River Ills and live happily ever after. I was a bit dizzy from going around with my husband anyway so all three of us got off the wagon and hunted high and low but couldn’t find some at all. Now I can hear better than before T got my glasses and get much more out of living than they did last year— sometimes I’m almost afraid I'll be arrested I can see so well, I’m recommending Garter’s Little River Ills to all my patients and with un- believable results, Marigold’s Mash for Romantic Reasons Start here patient in critical condition stop wanted to try your mash stop advised him to stop taking the stuff for last two weeks back up patient now out of danger stop awaiting my check for com- mission return to home and begin again patient died yesterday stop. M. D. Emdey, M.D. Richard S. Wallace JupcE Nominates for the Hall of Fame EcavsE he was history’s great- est hen-peck; because he looked less like John Barrymore than anyone who has ever lived; because he was the original In- quiring Reporter; but most of all because, when floored for the final count by that Hemlock cocktail, he didn’t lay the blame on his bootlegger. Well, folks, here we are right smack in the middle of the well- known football season. What a joy it is to flask in the autumn sunlight! Block that kick! —p— Drove up to the Yale-Penn game last week and discovered a new game—Auto Football! The crowd in the car divides into two teams and tosses up for the bottle—pardon me, I mean ball. Every time the car comes to a stop in traffic or otherwise it’s a “down”—four downs are allowed to make two miles. If you can’t make it the other side gets the bottle—I mean ball. The “ball” gets very rough use, so it is well to carry “spares”! or Speaking of charming people, have you seen Edna Best in “These Charming People”? She's a new- comer and is the hit of the season. aS The Six Best “Steppers”: “It Must Be Love’—(Merry Merry). “I Was Blue”—(Merry Merry). “Who"—(Sunny). “Here in Your Arms”—(Dearest Enemy). “Fond of You”—(Captain Jinks). “Hot Footin’ "—(No Show). Green Warrer—Avk, look at my thumbs in the soup! Thank Gawd I don’t have to get waited on by me! A Ek eda te i. eal ll il comicbooks.com