Judge — October 17, 1925 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Hot Scoop! T= paper was galloping to press. The city room was in a turmoil and the editor was in a strait- jacket. ‘Two big stories had broken at once. While deciding which to feature most he went quite mad and while he was so indisposed the paper came out as follows: England Sues France for $1,000,000 Heart Balm Prominent Actress Declares War— Wealthy Married Man Being Rushed to the Front Scores of Refugees Called to Court, for Safety, Carrying Libel Suits and Other Household Goods Paris, Eng., U. S. A. (By Special crossed wire.)—Miss Laura LaLaura, Prime Minister of England, to-day sent her final ultimatum to the President of France, a well-known “Follies” beauty, demanding $1,000,- 000 war and declaring that Jacob C. Devonshire, a big butter and egg man from London had. promised to marry her when France broke the treaty which resulted in the out- break of hostilities. France is mobilizing troops to withstand an attack along 617 West End avenue where Miss Laura La Laura of the Paris Secret Police is said to be living in a palatial canton- ment with the entire Fourth and Fifth British Territorial Armies. Upon hearing the war had been declared, Composite photograph of Gutenberg, Mergenthaler, Franklin, Greeley and Dana reflecting on the present state of the press. “Yeh, I used to be a newspaper man myself.” uw “No news is good news.” Mr. Devonshire said he never kissed Miss La Laura in his life and that she had previously tried to black- mail him because all the English Channel swimmers should have started from the other side. Americans in England and France are being held with other witnesses who claim they are alien citizens. All the boats leaving Birmingham and Bordeaux are crowded with Miss La Laura’s friends who are eagerly tushing to the defense with heavy and light field artillery and several machine gun battalions. The navy also had several remarks to make about Miss La Laura. The Lafayette Escadrille is re-re- organizing in Paris with branch offices in London so that they will have a place to report when captured as Miss La Laura says the Prince of Wales meant her no good when they started to entrench along the British coast. She warns all girls to keep away from Y. M. C. A. secretaries who have opened supply shops in dangerous sectors while the Red Cross has offered its first aid to Mr. Devonshire. It is expected that many prominent Americans and Italy will be plunged into the great conflict, the main weapon of both sides being mud, which is slung. Carroll comicbooks.com