Judge — September 19, 1925 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

I call my wife “Prohibition” be- cause she never dries up. ‘Tudge will pay$5 for cach one printed All Right if It Works aBor Day sounds the knell of summer vacations. Strange that a day glorifying toil should conclude a period of plain and fancy loafing. Some year, some one, with the eternal fitness of things uppermost in his mind, is going to arrange a Labor Day parade dedi- cated to those who toil but do not labor. This parade will be made up as follows: Grand Marshals: Selected Elevator Starters é Dramatic Critics | Special Officers in Banks Life Guards j Tea Tasters AT MOVING TIME . Tympani Players Missus—I’U swear we haven’t bought more than a dozen jelly glasses Fathers of Juvenile since we have been married, and we have over a hundred now. Movie Stars Mister—Do you mean to suggest—? Vice-presidents of Banks Head Waiters LOVE AMONG THE KNICKKNACKS Frofesstonal’”Yes Met. Hugh Wood by Don Herold “ Medical Note HERE is no other way to explain Of course, it is well recognized that Few women are afflicted with lock- Ti Benjamin Franklin sensed that jaw. If you put twelve jelly (Continued on page 30) glasses on a shelf in the basement and go down there five years later and find 144, there is only one natural conclusion. If you start married life with fifteen coat hangers and five years later, when you are packing up to move from one house to another, find close to 1,000 (and all bearing an unmis- takable family resemblance) what else are you to think? Tf we had not moved, we might not have made the discovery-—a dis- covery that is perhaps the most im- portant contribution to the world’s store of biological data since that eminent Scarsdale scientist, Robert Benchley, came out with his asser- tion that polyps have more than a fellow-feeling toward each other. Whether Mrs. Herold or I can claim credit for first observing the Reduabc Reyos- phenomenon, is something that can- not be set down with historical accu- “What’ya mean goin’ fifty miles an hour?” racy. It may best be said that we “My brakes don’t work and I was hustling to get home before I had blushed simultaneously. an accident.” comicbooks.com