Judge — September 12, 1925 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Notice to J Cue” MANUSCRIPTS will be re- turned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed return envelope, and owing to the thousands of contributions sent into this office each week, it is irhpossible to enter into personal correspondence regatd- ing them. Donot enclose postage for FUNNY- BONES or EPILA' as they wil not be returned. In cases of duplication, the first ‘one received will be accepted. For prompt attention address manuscripts, in sepatate envelopes, to the following departments: Manuscripts—Literary Editor of Juvce, Funnybones—Funnybone Editor of Jupce, Epilaughs—Epilaugh Editor of Junce, Crossword Puzzles — Crossword Puzzle Editor of Jupce 627 West 43d Street, New York City itive relief for SEA, AND CAR Sickness. De Theo—Feeling tired, are you, Keith? What did you have for lunch? Keith—Breakfast! Unpublished Testimonals Or Why the Ad Men Have to Write Their Own Fermented Milk from Kondensed Kows U UNTIL me and my old man were about nine years old I grew so fast they used to call me “Barnacle.” (What’s funny about that?) Well, anyway, it used to hurt my feelings something awful to be set apart from other people— I just didn’t belong, that’s all. I was so husky the elevator operators never said “Next car, please,” everybody just naturally let me have my own way and even the sub- way guards didn’t talk back to me like they do to normal folks. Finally, I was walking past the Statue of Liberty one morning when I saw a sign in the fire house window advertising your Fermented Milk from Kondensed Kows. Of course —The Bystander I didn’t really know that’s what the > sign advertised as I couldn't read yet, but I bought some anyway and can now recommend kondensed milk to anyone suffering from overgrowth. After taking the stuff for a couple of weeks I felt so small I could have passed for a kondensed speech of the President. A-1 Non-skid Shaving Cream For a number of winters I suffered so from the cold that the park police- men had to shut the gates at night to keep me from freezing. On one of these escapades to North Bergen County I found a tube of your A-1 Non-Skid. Shaving §Cream—“2,680 seconds from lather to towel.” Well, sir, inside of a few days I had the nicest assortment of towels you could imagine and haven't been cold @ single night this month. P.S.—I don’t know about. next winter, though. « comicbooks.com