Judge — August 22, 1925 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Salesmen Wanted — We want to hear from earnest men. who are ambitious for success and p willing to work hard to achieve Por such men we have a proj J y. of, 4 tion that is unequalled in the selli field. Our line is men’s clothes, tailored to special order from the finest quality of pure Virgin-Wool fabrics. We sell these clothes direct to the consumer through special representatives at the one low price of $31.50. The values Sea iar tl equal to the clothes by others at $50.00 or more. We supply our men with a power- fal selfing outfit, give them thor. ough training, pay them liberally and give them protected territory in which to work. Selling ex- perience while desirable, isn’t necessary. The im- portant thing is honesty, dependability and the ambition to make good. ‘If you have these quali- ties, let us hear from you at once. Sign and mail the coupon or better still, write us a letter. You'll hear from us promptly in reply. Address Dept. 782, GOODWEAR Chicago, Inc. West Adams at Peoria Street Chicago Gentlemen: I am interested in your ition. Please send the facts without obligation ‘alent 782. FRUITY Paar, afm Tue SpoxesMaAN—’Ave yer seen a bloke thrown out of ’ere ter-day, Town.... “PO with which is combined The Wireless Age,” is now the oldest as well as the leading radio maga- zine. No change in POPULAR RADIOwill be effected by this consol- idation. It will con- tinue to publish the most interest- ing and instructive in- formation for owners of radio receivers and for everyone who is consider- ing building or buying a set. Always insist upon having ABBOTTS Feorcspetzer BITTERS Clearxe" The Magazine with the Silver Cover Sonc Writers (fzzy *' Miss? Barmaip—No, “Lumme, I wonder where old Bill’s got to, then!” Insured to the Gills (Continued from page 17) sured, Mrs. Herold will be worth in the neighborhood of $9,000,000 and considerably more if I die as the result of being run over by a kiddie car, scooter or tricycle or any other vehicle operated by a child under five years old under the in- fluence of liquor. I am insured against stepladders, lawn mowers, clothes racks, cork pullers, manholes, cellar steps, safety razors, trick cigars, banana peelings, cornices, cinders, folding beds, falling hickory nuts, wild animal bites (at circuses and vaude- ville shows), theater seats, and, well, practically everything that closes up and pinches a person, including hammocks and camp ‘stools. (I dropped my one-man-top insurance when we bought a sedan.) My line of poison insurance policies alone would fill a vault. I am in- sured against the following forms of poisoning, and perhaps others which have slipped my mind: ivy, rattlesnake, Easter egg, laundry, dining-car, barber shop, and dairy lunch. Week before last I took out a gin insurance policy for the benefit of my daughter, Doris. This not only provides a good income for Doris in case I die at the hands of gin, but it has the unique added attraction of insuring Doris against any lack of gin when she goes to college. The insurance company will keep Doris in gin through her four years in 32 college, and they say this is much better than giving her a lump sum when she leaves home to go to school. The insurance companies are getting real motherly these days. Under another policy that I carry, Mrs. Herold is assured of a new fur coat every two years after I reach the age of eight-five. This policy pro- vides for what is known as old-age fur coverage. ’ Of course I have my life insured, going and coming. There is no form of life or death that does not seem actually delightful under the terms of my various contracts. The best policy I have is known as an “innocent bystander policy.” It covers me even for accidents in which I am not even sentimentally interested. Then there is my policy which covers me against loss of time and temper occasioned by visits by old friends and relatives. T'm even protected against. tele- phone calls. So you see there is positively nothing about which I need to worry. I am so well insured that Mrs. Herold sometimes jokingly tefers to me as the armadillo. My only real worry is this fact, which I have just discovered, that is, that my annual premiums total $1,723.42 more than my annual income, and what I am wondering now is if it is possible to take out an insurance policy which will insure me against being crazy enough ever to take out any more insurance of any kind whatsoever. comicbooks.com