Judge — August 22, 1925 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“No, no, it didn’t have halitosis, it had something to tell the little red squirrel.” “I guess it was something about some silly princess or some of that rot. Don’t you think fairy stories are all the bunk, pa? Now, man to man. Let’s discuss Dr. Jung, Freud or some of those boys.” “Oscar, you go to bed this minute, before I give you a good spanking.” “Good-night, pa.” —West Virginia Moonshine Three Stages During courtship: He talked— she listened. Just married: tened. Now: They both talk—the neigh- bors listen. —Penn Punch Boul PAS “Why does a Scotchman have a sense of humor?” “Because it’s a gift.” —Lehigh Burr She talked—he lis- “Make no bones, Oleander, what is ‘better half?” “Verily, Mascara, ‘tis but a figure of speech.” —C. C. N. Y. Mercury “So you remember way back to the Revolution, do you?” “Yassa. De Revolution and Gin'l Washington an’ all them.” “Perhaps you were a witness of the fall of Rome?” “Nossa, Ah didn’t exackly see it, but Ah recollect hearin’ somethin’ drop!” —West Point Pointer —Cornett Wivow PAD “D’ja hear about Smith getting kicked out of school for cheating on the astronomy exam?” “No. Was he?” “Yuh. He got the fellow in back of him to hit him on the head.” —Vanderbilt Masquerader SPs Hang—What makes you drink so much water this morning? Over—I ate some sponge cake last night. —California Pelican sas Dumb—Give me a kiss. Belle—I'm not a philanthropist. “No, but lots of nice girls kiss.”” —Vanderbilt Masquerader “I had a good time last night at Helen's party.” “Did you? Who all were there?” “Me and Helen.” —Onto State Sun Dia sae He—What became of your million- aire friend? Sue—Oh, the wila waves got him. “Whose?” —Texas RancER tae An ambidextrous person is one who can trim the nails on his right hand. —Stanford Chaparral sae “What's your roommate like?” “Damn near everything I've got.” —Columbia Jester sas ‘0, I told you I don’t care for any coffee. That was the cause of my father’s death.” “Coffee killing anyone, how come?” “Five hundred pounds fell on his head.” —Colgate Banter as Doctor—Your throat is in bad shape. Have you ever tried gargling with salt and water? “I should say. I’ve been ship- wrecked twice.” —Pitt Panther sas Henry Ford is now making aero- planes. Why doesn’t Burbank put wings on an oyster and call it a butterfly? —Stevens Stone Mill as The motor car has two justifica- tions for existence—one is that it affords a convenient method of transportation. —Colby White Mule comicbooks.com