Judge — August 15, 1925 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

of yho oP”? you. ast ve, ng, CaRPENTER—That new wooden leg will cost you $10. Sattor Fettow—What, are you going to charge me $10 for just remem- bering me? —Brown Jue FAH Iam going mad. I met her again to-day but could not speak to her. She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. But she is not for me, I know. It is the irony of fate that keeps us apart. What would I give for just one night with her on a lonely road with the silvery moon above us! She must know how my heart yearns for her. She must feel, as I do, that we were made for each other. But it can never be done, for she is a Stutz roadster and I ambroke. —Colby White Mule PHS End Man—Mrs. Pklmjones, the barber’s wife, got a divorce. Interlocutor—Yeah? What was the charge? “Barberous treatment.” —Penn Punch Bowl Another Abe and Ike Grind Pat—What would ye be if ye wasn’t an Oirishman? Mike—Faith, oi’d be ashamed! —West Point Pointer PIS “A peek is better than a finesse,” murmured the man who didn’t like to play bridge anyway. —Wesleyan Wasp AIH “I beat up a Prof. to-day.” “How’zat?” “Yeah, I passed him on the hill.” —Chicago Phoenix Rnd “Have you ever let any other man kiss you?” “Never, Henry, never—only a few college boys.” —Pitt Panther tae Teacher—Abie, what is a pauper? Abie—It’s the guy vot married mommer. —Dartmouth Jack O’Lantern “A lot of men will be made unhappy when I marry.” “Say, what are you, a Mormon?” —C. C. N. Y. Mercury PIAS He saw a car coming ahead, “T’ll give half the road,” he then said. “And I am dead shore That I won’t give no more.” He didn’t, and now he’s shore dead. —Texas Ranger FAH She—I don’t neck. He—May I press you for particu- lars? —Lafayette Lyre Dpecv— ry ° LAT d ° “Honest, y’r honor, I never stole nuthin’.” “Prisoner, your testimony rings with a note of veracity.” “Av, y’r honor, yuh don’t get me—I swear I ain’t lyin’. oe —Ya.e ReEcorp