Judge — August 8, 1925 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

———— Unpublished Testimonials Or Why the Ad Men Have to Write Their Own Cartrecks Files for Fussy Fourflushers Ww fishing for white aunts along the Lincoln Highway several years ago I bought one of your Cartrecks Files to go with my wife as she is also built like a sky- scraper. Since I was expelled from correspondence school for mailing paper wads to the teacher I haven't. gotten any mail, however, so am using the file for a card tray. Hoping there will be no extra charge for this, I beg to remain, alone. T am all alone, Wordsen Musik get off backwards. Red, White and Blue Shoe Polish I have always led a strict moral life, free from murder, suicide and chewing gum, and retire at nine o'clock every night. Somehow the girls never stayed that late, though, and I was faced with the terrible prospect. of being often a bride- groom but never the best man. Since taking your Red, White and Blue Shoe Polish T haven't had a single dull day and am not nearly as weak as I once was. I'm a lot weaker. [ can now stay up until ten o'clock, too, without any serious after effects. The asylum bedtime rules have been changed. Yours till Niagara Falls, (X) Gen. GeorGe CotumBus Richard 8. Wallace | ‘| } ( If car companies used this form of handle, women wotid not ) When [ heard JupGe was going to pull a “Ladies’ Number,” I knew it would be up to me to spill a few kind words about the “My Dears,” so I decided to spend a quiet evening at home with sister, and get all the real inside dope on the female of the species. Trying to catch sister at home is like trying to find a place to park, but after two weeks of sleuthing I finally caught her with a sprained ankle, and she had to stay in. “What's the latest thing about the Nit-wits, sis,” said 1, opening the conversation with a bang. 7 “To whom are you referring,” she murmured icily, looking up from a copy of “The Great Gatsby.” “Nit -wits—noodlenocks—flappers —girls! Be your age, silly little rabbit, and give big brotherthe dope!” “Fancy that!” she cooed. “The dope! Such language from a Har- vard sophomore! Well, let’s sec. You might tell your anxious public that stockings are out. Legs are being worn bare this season—” “Yes, yes, go on!” I hoarsed. “Whi cherché—” “No kidding!” “Yes, indeed, and bright colored fishing flies are worn on them to add a piquant touch—” I collapsed on the davenport. “Then the latest thing is to get your boy friend’s track shirt with a nice big letter on it, and wear it for a bathing suit.” “Ye gods!” I cried, “and nothing else!” Sister threw “The Great Gatsby” comicbooks.com