Judge, 1925-08-01 · page 11 of 36
Judge — August 1, 1925 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis The page contains two distinct satirical pieces: **Top cartoon**: "Wanted—An invention to accomplish this at slight expense" shows a projector displaying a woman's image inside a glass dome. The satire mocks the desire for an affordable way to obtain an idealized woman—treating courtship/marriage as a mechanical problem to be engineered rather than a human relationship. **Text story by Ted Osborne**: A humorous monologue about the narrator's romantic failures. He dismisses Helen (too practical), Alice (unintelligent—she misunderstands "D.S.C. man"), and praises Barbara as his ideal match—only to reveal she's already married and won't divorce. The joke satirizes men's unrealistic expectations of women and the narrator's self-delusion about his romantic prospects. **Bottom caption**: A ship's master and bartender exchange—likely mocking naval terminology or drunken sailors, playing on "Sandy Hook" (New Jersey location) as a setup for a joke about alcohol. The page reflects early 20th-century attitudes toward gender, courtship, and class, presented through Judge magazine's characteristic cynical humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Wanted—An invention to accomplish this at slight expense. her store of knowledge would be doubled. When I met Helen, I thought I had at last found the right girl. She seemed very practical, the sort of girl who would love a home. I remember she once told me that she didn’t like dancing because it was simply hugging set to music, and then she said she didn’t like music. She was a very practical girl, But I lost heart one day when she asked me what the hardest known sub- stance was and I told her it was a diamond. And she said, “Yes; to get.” Alice and I went out together only once. She was just plain dumb. I was telling her about a friend of mine being a D. S. C. man and she asked if that meant district street cleaner. And Barbara! Ah,.the wonderful memories I have of Barbara! She was really a wonderful girl, tall, dark, slender, and above all she truly understood me. I loved her and she loved me, and we seemed ideally matched. Undoubtedly we would have been married had it not been for the fact that her husband wouldn’t agree to a divorce. Ted Osborne Masrer—Name the first call on the way to Europe after passing Sandy Hook: Son or Sutp’s BaRTENDER—Gin and Vermouth! comicbooks.com