Judge — July 18, 1925 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Evolution Week Hers never had anything seri- ous to do with evolution, aside from personally attending my own birthday, I feel that I will be com- mitting no breach of confidence if I print, or cause to have printed, a few letters which I never received while I was not serving on the Booster’s Committee for the celebration of Evolution Week. I probably do not remember correctly and if I don’t our slogan was, “Do your evo- luting early!” The following letter was received from “The Plumbers Forget-Your- Tools & Charge Sufficient Society:” “Gentlemen, if any: In accord- ance with your most personal form letter received by us somewhere in the minutes of the last meeting, we hasten to reply. The members of our society have sworn a solemn tinker’s dam to forego using monkey wrenches during Evolution Week. They feel this is a small enough sac- rifice, for they have decided to use their Bryan instead of their brawn, for the duration of the celebration at least.” From cage number twelve, Ring- ling Brother’s Circus, in winter quarters (or would you rather have two dimes and a nickel) comes the cagey little note, to wit (and what wit!):" “We baboons are broad- minded enough to accept scientific proof that we are at least partially Keerer—Would yez believe ut, Mr. Bryan, there's people thot hold I'm related to thot baste! If Henry Plunk should get to heaven By some mistake or fluke, We hope he won't maitreat his harp The way he did his uke. atriben es UI 4s ai ph (abate, vy mage PAYS#S FOF COCN One prin at Ags responsible for that peculiar species of our kind known as homo sapiens. When you see what you beget in the next few thousand years then’s the time to kick. How are all the chil- dren? Yours sincerely, ete.” An equally enthu: > note came from “The Comic Strip Artist's Poff-Bang-Wooff-Wow & Glopp Association.” It said, in part, or in full, I forget which, probably indifferent: “Owing to the fact that the shine was lost from our monkey shines somewhere back in the paleo— make it pre-historic—days we feel that it would be jeopardizing our business to omit the monkey. How- ever, we are with you in spirit, if at all.” In reply to the same circular letter that elicited (if that’s the correct word?) all these other charming sentiments, The Apiary in Whoosiz Park Zoo sent this curt note which many of our most Tennessee edu- cated members are unable to under- stand. When it was read aloud for the benefit of the illiterate majority (and even before that) it said: “It looks as if we would be forced to close during Evolution Week, and from then on, as you seem to have enough bees in your bonnets (respectively, of course, never omit that word) to supply any normal demand that may arise from now on, or even later.” Carroll comicbooks.com