Judge — July 11, 1925 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

h\ A man asks for a morning paper at a New York newsstand at one minute after noon, Yes and No by Don Herold ‘ou have to argue it both ways. If white collars were worn around the legs, how often would you send them to the laundry? If those garter ads were meant tu appeal to women, the neck is where the women would wear them—now that somebody has made the sugges- tion. Still, no sex is sillier than auy other. The new Tex Rickard aud torium at Eighth avenue and Fiftieth street is to be known as Madison Square Garden. Next thing, they'll be calling the Washington Square arch the Columbus Circle triangle. We'll be taking the Hoboken ferry to Brooklyn. And the Aquarium will be known as the Bronx Dry Kiln. When walking up Fifth avenue these hot days, I utter up a small prayer: “Father forgive them; they know not what they do.” Iced coffee is an insult to good coffee and good ice. Lots of people are suffering with inflammatory self-satisfaction. American humor is now passing (let us hope) through a yes-we-have- no - bananas-I-have-no-uncle-how-is- he period, and most of our humorists are writing automatic nonsense. So’s your old man. We have play- lets with such characters as: Phillip, a pump; Ella, his nephew; a Snort; Will and Oscar, three efficiency ex- perts. The curtain falls killing nine of the cast and three Pelham Manor paper hangers. All rules of co-vperative buying fail when a club takes lunch at some hotel once a week. It is a sure way of getting a 50-cent lunch for $1.15. I wish I were either rich enough or pour enough to do a lot of things that are impossible in my present comfortable circumstances. (Continued on page 28) Pithy Proverbs Ov swallow makes a criminal. All shirk and no play makes a harp player in a symphony or- chestra. Don’t wear your breeches before they are patched. Time-tables and tide subject to change without notice. Its a wise play that knows its own movie adaptation, ~ Latigh and the world laughs with you; weep and the world laughs anyway. The rolling stone gathers the gloss. Who laughs first, reads JupGE. Carroll ated me for taking — this Liberty,” said the burglar, as he slipped a coupon bond from the unidst of the registered securities. ery “IT don't quite get yo id Jerry as the pretty young heiress rejected him. Here lies in peace old Wilbur Clark, He's finally found a place to park, iabaltiaen artis ua, Ore print slaty OF ‘TWO EVILS Choose the lesser, comicbooks.com