Judge — June 27, 1925 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

over the mountain or into the valley below a myriad of fas- cinating scenes unfold to your view—if you are able to enjoy them. The sway of the train means train sickness—(nausea) to many. Mothersill’s stops Train, Car and Sea Sickness at once, giving perfect comfort on your ips < TF death mctouel Prie The Mothersil! Remedy Co,. N. Y. City ABBOTT S Mes BITTERS 2 Kd . ae pet Cd our Clearze:" om is Gen De Qutdy Chaared of Pieir les, Binck bees Acne Eczeua, Baiarged Pores on the face or Pores and Cer en BOORLE Skin. Es.eivens, Sides bic RetonCre The magazine with the silver cover Kendall Banning, Editor L. M. Cockaday, Technical Editor Contains each month all the prog- ress, thrills and true romance as well as the practical and technical side of radio New subscribers may send One Dol- lar for a 5 months’ subscription to POPULAR RADIO 627 West 43d St., New York City oe oe ee oe od Epigrams—and Golf (Continued from page 13) but the next one. The more you cover the easier they come. Here are a couple on this life only. They were a little harder to write: It is but a few short years from diapers to dignity and from dignity to decom position. You can stand anything eighty years. The first of these is somewhat pessimistic, and is not the kind you would hang in the living-room, but the second one is full of consolation und may be hung near the dressing- table or kitchen sink to help you pull through when life seems difficult. It is encouraging, but not too en- couraging. Here is one on this very subject: Epigrams about happiness are all wrong—people should not be set to thinking about such things. Or to attack the subject from the opposite angle, take this one: Unhappiness is in not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it. Next to life in general the subject of woman is softest for the golf- going cpigrammatist. It took me practically no daylight at all to do these Women are not much, but they are the best other sex we have. Women gice us solace, but if it were not for women we would never need solace. Or to get real tom-catty: When two women yet together it is only a matter of five or ten minutes until they start to talking about hair. Kimonos are a work of the deri. Next to women, the subject of matrimony is the biggest aid to early golfing. Marriage, like death, is nothing to worry about. Marital wretched- ness is better than single blessedness. Then come chil- dren. ‘To dispose of chil- dren sweepingly, there is this one: Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to conceive. An There is little use to talk about your child to anybody; other people either have one or haven't. There is no reason why any child should “What's the use of missing when I hare all these clubs!” not hare a complete knowledye of life, since there is no censorship of drug-store windows. Morality is about the next softest subject: People who live a double life get just tice as much out of it. Neither small savings nor small virtues seem worth while at the time; hence the practical impossibility of saving a fortune or saving one’s soul. Liquor is to help us conduct our- selres as we haven't been trained. Moralizing and morals are two en- tirely different things and are always found in entirely different people. Of course, I don't believe any these. In no case must the golfer- that is to say, the epigrammatist attempt to ions. It might take him all afternoon to cor- her a conviction. I take no stock in epigrams, because T have made ‘em. Datel Judge—You are accused of steal- ing spoons from the restaurant. What have you to say? Accused—I took them in error, “In error? How do you me “T thought they were silver!” “I beg pardon, maaam, but can we play through you—er—ah—I mean around your” comicbooks.com a