Judge — June 13, 1925 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

I Know a Girl— SHE thinks that a violin is a bad hotel, that the trombone is a part of the human body and that an oboe is a shiftless fellow (crossword definition), but she says she’s just terribly fond of music, especially symphony concerts. She — thinks they're just swell. At one of them a few weeks ago, I asked her if she noticed the French horns. She said she didn’t know them but she thought that two of the Virginia Lees were in that box up there on the left. We heard a trio played the other night and I happened to forget my- self enough to say that I thought the ‘cellolent a tonicrichness to the flavor of the whole. She replied that she knew it was recommended for babies, so it must be a tonic, but that she, personally, never did like it. She said to her Jello was simply an in- sipid something that hurried hos- tesses foisted upon their unexpected guests. (Then she sat back ex- hausted.) She thinks that a cornet isa sort of crown worn by royalty, that harp- sichord is used in tying up packages and that saxophones are a new kind of radio ear muff. “And [ think we're going to hare a shower too.” “Oh, do run down and see if the windows are closed.” She is the type who grabs your arm excitedly when the drums beat, or shuts her eyes ecstatically and in- dicates a heavenly sensation when the music becomes soft and sweet She's the kind who always claps at the wrong time. She thinks that the movie house “symphony orchestras” are just glorious. Tf you ever meet her I recommend taking her to the aquarium. She'd feel so at home. Carroll Chair designed for the woman on a reducing dict. The Native Son A Terrible Problem Confronts Me “EM Cutnkus, the nationally known mammy singer, has just died. It’s up to me to arrange his funeral, I've invited between five and six hundred dusky mammies, who used to “rock Clem to sleep” and they're all coming North to pay their last respects to their “wander- ing boy.” Probably every State below the Mason-Dixon Line is represented and it’s astonishing how Clem could have been mothered by each one. Yet it must be so, for I've heard Clem sing about them and it was “Mah Alabammy Mammy” one night and “Mah Louisiana Mammy” another nigh Clem wasn't a boy to forget any of “ern, so they're al ted. But here’s the baffling part of it When a man’s dead he can only be buried in one pls That's s isn'tit? Well, poor old Clem wante to be buried “In de Fields « Louisiana Sugar Cane.” “Lay Me to Rest in Old Virginny” or “Dump Mah Bones in Deah OI Georgia” why that boy has named about fif- teen States as his final resting-place and I don't know what to do. Of course, I could bury part of him in each place, but he’s too sincere for that. Either all of him goes or none at all. So guess I might just as well solve the whole thing by burying Clem up in the Vermont hills—and, keep this under your hat*-that’s where he was born. Arthur L. Lippmann comicbooks.com