Judge — June 6, 1925 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

— “He was real nice asa young man and now he's the worst grouch in town.” “He lost faith in people by always being on time for appointments.” Declaration of Degeneracy by Don Herold AM cunningly planning my own I downfall and degeneration, 1 am going to the dogs as of late. Im a man whe appointments. Pm a dot, Tf a alled for ns. Pam there at 12.30. This takes work. Tt is not some- thing that comes natural to me. It ts easy as it looks. DT have to ul fo get Iways keeps ways on the amittes meeting is $0 at the Hotel Gor- all moming, and squeez ssand hurry. 1 suffe sontime. LT get to 0 meet. ings at 12. Nobody eb who make 1 i kindly go to 1 Hereaf dates with me ¢ T will stroll there about 1.15. Who in the dickens told me back thoodl Who I didn’t I ¢ leisurely and be somewhere in my that promptness w : tie take time. They require energy. All my boyhood days 1 must have heen complete rounded by: anc sur- slists. Tam prompt, systematic, neat, clean-shaven, up- standing, industrious, thrifty and honest. Doggone it! Twas brought up warped, and all wror When I get places at 0 and the other members of the committee don't get there until 1. 1 spend forty-five minutes in some of the nastiest thinking in which a human being can indulge himself. I. sit and classify the rest of the human (Continued on page 29) Facts and Figures Wirreven Jack Dempsey, the r. receives a purse for fightin, figure the mathematical wizards at just what his pay is per round, per minute and per puneh, OF course, Jack makes ont very well no matter whi i way they fign woived Titth For hard fights he re. ceived, say, S10. Not S10 per round . but time was wher he his efforts. or S10 per minute, but S100 per haps. All right, then, lets other cases, as the s man said t ptical gentle. his bootlegger. Aman once received $10,000 for swimming the English Channel. Sounds like a | Yet. figured out, it was cents a stro! Joesn’t it? miy a few Later, another man received more than a million dollars for one stroke. It was one his rich old bachelor uncle had! A certain lsband makes a fairly good salary. He gives his wife so much for household expenses, She thinks it’s net so much. She tells him that the age of mirz Then she disproves her own sti ment by getting § every W 2 extra out of him ck. That's a dollar and a half an argument. (You can’t figure it by the word.) Admissi n to the subway is five cents, To find out how much one seat is worth, multiply the number of people in a car by five (this is pos sible only in theory of course) and di- vide by the number of people sitting. There are twenty blocks to a mile. This includes the subway. Robert Cyril O'Brien THE FOOLPROOF CANOE I Tf some one rocks the boat, only one end upsets. comicbooks.com