Judge — May 30, 1925 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- Parnassus, Incorporated My Visit to Hank Hanlon's Verse Factory He** factory consisted of a long, sunlit) room. Thirty- two desks met the eve. At each was seated a lyrical specialist. Passing the first desk, I peered over the writer's shoulder and read: If you're down and out and broke, Snile, just simile. If the boss says you're a joke, Smile, just smile If the kids have got the mumps And your own throat’s sprouting lumps Don't stay down in the dumps— Smile, just smile! “That's our stnile expert.” ex- plained my guide. “You'll notice his production chart on the wall be- hind you. His 1924 output, if Ihid end to end would—" But I was now absorbed in reading the manuscript on the desk of a secdy-looking, baldheaded man with an elfish face and a s) phantic grin. “He writes home and fireside verse,” mentioned my guide, “a clever chap, personally trained by Mr. Hanlon. We've had visitors here who broke down and wept after reading his home copy. One man even sent his wife a telegram. Now we ce ne to our self-mastery prose verse division, after which you'll enter the American tlag rhy department—one of our HITHERTO UNPUBLISHED HISTORY best and most successful. Just read this charming piece of poetry,” he suggested, handing me a neatly type- written sheet labeled ‘Flag Stuff No. 7 Suitable for Washing- ton’s Birthday, Decoration Day or Fourth of July.” “What do you think of it? my enthusiastic guide asked. “Delightful,” I replied. “Kipling must be rery jealous.” “You bet.” he proudly proclaimed “Why, » got Bob Battle's fac- tory over in Hopkinstown skinned a mile. Battle's stuff is only syndi- cated in ten papers. while Mr. Han- lon’s verse is in over three hundred.” “IT congratulate your noble com- pany,” I replied, “and now, what kind of a man is this Hank Hanlon? I'd like to meet this disciple of mirth.” “Oh, Mr. Hanlon was the most care-free and happy man I ever met. He was always looking ahead for the bright side of life, never discour- aged, never disheartened—" “Was the most care-free,” I in- terrupted, “doesn't he run this fac- tory any mor 0.” replied my erstwhile cheer- ful guide, with the first’ mournful note in his voice. “Mr. Hanlon committed suicide twenty minutes ago. He left a note saying that life seemed empty and futile, so he had decided to end it all—er, would you like to visit our faith and courage section?” Arthur L. Lippmann Bringing up reinforcements to Napoleon after he has had his breeches shot from under him. t ¢ ré) YY The six best “Steppers: “Honey I'm in Love With You.” “Why Do I Love You?" “Rhapsody in Blue “Montinartre Rose. “Prince of Wales.” “Stepping in Society.” > The latest “find” behind the foot lights is Mildred MacLeod in “Wild Birds” at the Cherry Lane Theater A hit! (Dance time). on Big news, lads! Economy is spreading through the younger set. Everyone tries to make bogey at the Night Clubs! That is, the bird who has the smallest amount on his check over the cover charge wins the high hat and gets a salute of twenty-one cocktails, Also, the lads are now rolling their own. Y that’s no bull! > The latest best seller: “A Mother's Recompense,”” by Edith Wharton. coed 3, sir, and Hark ye, lads! White flannels are out! To be really en régle trousers must be green or fawn colored, oF what have you? GT comicbooks.com