Judge, 1925-05-02 · page 13 of 36
Judge — May 2, 1925 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical humor pieces typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine: **"The Idealist"** (left cartoon): A man stands on a precarious stack of boxes reaching for a star—visual metaphor for pursuing an impossible dream. The accompanying text describes unrequited love, suggesting the cartoon mocks idealistic romanticism as impractical and self-destructive. **"Fair Straphanger"** (top right): Mocks the Transit Company for using rubber in subway straps, presented as if this were a luxury innovation rather than practical improvement. **"B.C. Blah-blah"**: A humorous rewrite of the David and Goliath story where David credits his victory to health practices (no smoking, no meat, milk of magnesia)—satirizing contemporary fad diets and health crazes. The page also includes "Funnybones" (short jokes about philosophers and verbal comebacks) and grammar corrections. The overall tone ridicules contemporary social pretensions, health fads, and romantic melodrama through absurdist humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
| were to be married, but a week before the wedding she gave me back my ring and told me it could never be: She told me I'd forget... . For fif- teen years P've struggled—with a taunting vision of what might ha been dancing through my head, tor- menting me day and night... . And why are you watching the river?” “Fifteen years ago,” said the second man, in a hollow, spent voice, “T married Molly Blair.” E. M. Curtis The Idealist Fain Strapnancer—You bnoww, is putting rubber in the straps now Correct This Sentence “Yes, said the writer of mammy songs, “when I retire, I'm going right down to live in a cabin in Divie.”” AAS The convict orchestra at Sing Sing has several members who are mur derers. They are probably assi to the saxophones. ned Funnybones, The Colonel and Mr, O'Graty are brothers under a skin full Guage wil poy 85 for cach one proved Gladys—Is your mother- jeying her trip to the mountains? Cynthia—'Praid not. She's found something last she can't walk claw en over. eer Lift-half—VPhilo-~ ~~ — sophers tell us that it is useless to ~ » —~ argue with a stone. When at a loss for a word, however. half a brick is better than no retort. Mayme, they seem so nice and elastic I believe the Transit Company B.C. Blah-blah te umpire had just awarded the decision to David and Goliath still lay prone on the ground. Thousands of people ran from the grandstands and rushed to lift David high on their shoulders for his splendid victory Flushed with triumph, he was carried to the dressing-room, whe in enthusiastic crowd clamored to learn his secret “There's nothing to it,” said David, “I stopped smoking when I was nine months old as I found it seing with me. Up until I was about eighteen months old 1 drank nothing but milk and would wasn't ag T cat no meat, ables, no bread or cake and never use a pacifier. no never touch coffee fifteen to twenty hours 1 sleep ho night and only indulge very mildly in chewing tobacco, 1 trained hard for this fight with Goliath, and I believe that young girls should) be taught the secrets of life at an early I am also very good to my her and have just promised her to quit fighting, so that you can tell my publie that this was the kid's last fight.” “Have you anything else to say?" begged his adi “Only this.” answered David, “LT attribute my victory to the fact that I took three t milk of magnesia every morming hefore breakfast.” Arthur L. Lippmann rs. spoonfuls of comicbooks.com