Judge, 1925-03-28 · page 13 of 36
Judge — March 28, 1925 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge magazine contains three distinct sections satirizing early 20th-century American society and popular culture. **"Once Upon a Time"** is a humorous story contrasting an idealized woman (who shows no interest in fashion, luxury goods, or material display) with the author's actual companion—revealed as an Eskimo woman at the North Pole. The joke mocks contemporary expectations that women obsess over shoes, hats, furs, and gowns. **"Krazy Kracks"** appears to be a reader-submission humor section where Judge paid $5 for witty one-liners. **"To the Makers of Crossword Puzzles"** is a comedic poem by Perry Armagnac granting permission to puzzle-makers to use obscure words (gnu, oryx, sloths, ra, yogi, etc.) while requesting they spare readers from overused crossword staples. **"Society Snapshots"** is a cartoon depicting well-dressed figures at what appears to be a social gathering, captioned "Reading from left to right"—likely a visual joke about the fashionable set. The final aphorism about wealth and happiness offers social commentary typical of Judge's satirical voice.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Once Upon a Time TOOK a walk with a young lady. She didn’t stop to admire a pair 0 shoes which were three sizes all for her anyway. She that hat in the street and forth- too didn’t * showease across th ist adorn o assist in the rites of worship. She didn’t insi company her to a fur » Thad “such exquisite taste. She never once thought “it would be so much fun to have that chow” (price with drag me over $150) in the dog store we were] rever once offered jarlingest little tea t she'd look “perfectly stunning’ in to show me the room.” She never allowed one of the many evening gowns, or what you may call thems, arrayed in some diabolical shopkeepe window. Of course she didn’t. was an Eskimo who didn't: speak English and we were walking around the North Pole looking for a few Lapps to make into some puns for supper. Carroll The four hundred. KRAZY (RACKS sentence with the word Judge pays $5 for each krazy krack printed. SOCIETY SNAPSHOTS “Reading from left to right—" To the Makers of Cross- word Puzzles Yor ean keep your gnu and oryz And your two and three-toed sloths, Not to mention ra and yogi on the side; I'll forgive your ems and dories, And your ameers and your goths, Nor object to “highly pigmented” for dyed. Nor can apse, estop, or ion, Alb, or Eli make me blue; You're entitled to your pirie and your elf You can call a son a scion And T'll think no less of you For I've tried to make a puzzle up myself. Perry Armagnac Money does not always make happiness. A man with $10,000,000 is no happier than a man with only $9,000,000. Nao Fer comicbooks.com