Judge — February 14, 1925 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| i i ‘PURITAN Song and | RECORDS Dance Hits New York’s Favorites Jazzy Fox Trots Doodle Doo Doo June Nights Mandalay Where is My Sweetie Hiding I Wonder What's Become of Sally I Want To Be Happy ‘00 Tired Vocal Hits Charlie My Boy _ Follow the Swallow Put Avay a Little Ray of Golden Sunshine Go Long Mule fow Do You Do Dreamy Waltzes Dreamer of Dreams Honest and Truly All Alone Pal That I Love Here they are! The 16 song and dance successes of the hour! All New York is humming, whistling and dancing to these pieces. We offer you~ all 16 ofthem for only $2.98 on eight 10-inch, double-faced guar- anteed records. Play them onany phonograph. Each record beautifully rendered by famous orchestras. Send No Money! J: #en4 cowrcn or post card. Play these records for rodays in your own home. See how woa- derful they are, Note clearness, beauty and volume of fone, Only gira postman $2.58 plus a few cents dey. ery charges. If not entirely pleased, return records ‘and we'll refund money and pay postage WAYS without question. Low price is possible by manufacturing in sets and selling direct to thousands of users. Don’t wait. Mail coupon below ot postal. aseeeeeeeseessonesesses: ‘o-operative Record Co., Dept. 123 PORT WASHINGTON, WIS. Send me on to days trial, your 16 Fox Trots, Songs d Waltzes on 8 double-face, 10-inch records, guar- teed equal or better than any records made. "f wll y postman only $2.98, plus delivery charges on ar- wal. However, thisis nata purchase. If records don't firely please me, I will return them within 10 days and you will refund my money without question. RITTENHOUSE HOTE 22D & CHESTNUT STS. PHILADELPHIA, PA. Rooms with hot and $2 uP cold running water Rooms with 7 $3 UP beth......... Club Breakfast, S0¢ up. Speciel Lancheen, 90c. Evening Dinner. $1.25. As well as service ala carte. ‘asic Curing Luncheon, Oinner tnd Supper CLASSRINGS@&PINS gS Largest Catalog lssued—FREE %|Samples loaned class off- AF” \cers, Prices $.20 to $8.00 OO eR ners ter in weg ch em Slems too large or too small. Special 0 request, METAL ANTS C8., tee. TN18 South Ave, Rochester, #.Y. “STOP 1” Traffic Officer Molly McGuire now holds the record for the most prompt obedience to traffic signals. Furthermore, 1 Won't (Continued from page 13) “how” things in the history of man- kind. Looking at my library you would say there is nothing in ti world that I oughtn’t to know how do. Yet, in spite of my extensive reading. or rather, in spite of my large ownership of handbooks, I don’t know how to do anything. It takes about four operations to make cocoa (sometimes called hot chocolate et if Mrs. Herold is in- disposed and tells me how to make cocoa, I have to run back and forth from the kitchen at least’ twelve times to verify my impressions of what she said would be a good thir to do. It usually eventuates that she gets up from her headache or pneumonia or typhoid, or whatever is ailing her, and comes out and makes the cocoa herself, with me looking solicitously over her elbow. That is one trouble with matri- mony. It enables one person to learn the depths of your dumbness. How can I ever convince her that I am important anywhere, or that [ know anything at all, when I can't even break an egg. The limousines and fur coats and other luxuries that I lavish upon her are no evidence to her that I am capable in the marts of trade. When she gets those things, she merely thinks that God is good; she knows I can't fry €99 . . If I were to start to build a radio set, we would have radio parts around our house for years, as further evi- dence of my imbecility. There would be radio parts in the pantry, radio parts in the children’s playhouse, radio parts among my neckties and collar buttons, radio parts tangled up in Mrs. Herold’s hair nets, radio parts in that drawer in the kitchen table where you look for the can opener and the beer puller and the tweezers. . . . There is nothing so tempting as a book that is advertised to make something plain to a person with ab- “You nd easy solutely no brains whatever. will never know how simple it is,until you read this book,” say the siren ads. I have been lured by these promises into countless complicated and mystifying messes and mirages. In “How to Build Your Radio Receiver,” there are full directions for making seven different sets that I don’t want to know how to make. The one [ want to build least is regenerative super-hippodrome-hete- rodyne iver. Looking at the di doskimming over the instructions, I would say offhand that I would just as soon try to build a railroad locomotive. (But if 1 saw a book advertised to-morrow telling how to build your own railroad loco- motive, I would send in my order.) I might be willing to lay the corner stone for such a set, making a short specch to the neighbors, and handing the masons a bundle of photographs of Mr. Banning and Mr. Cockaday and Mr. Heterodyne to put in the comer stone, but as for building it myself, I don’t want to, I don’t want to. ams And I won't. . . . The set that I want to build most of any is the first set described in the book, a simple crystal set, the parts for which cost about $5. This is the set that I want to build most, but still I don’t want to build it. WE SYMPATHIZE WITH The chair-ridden man who was left alone with the radio turned on. 28 comicbooks.com