Judge, 1925-01-31 · page 11 of 36
Judge — January 31, 1925 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "The Absorbing Adventures of Professor Blotter" This page satirizes urban traffic congestion and municipal incompetence through Professor Blotter, newly appointed head of the City Parking Commission. The humor lies in Blotter's absurd "solutions" to parking: building runways on car roofs so vehicles stack vertically, or inventing "water that doesn't leak" and "air that won't puncture"—ridiculous technical fixes that miss the actual problem. The satire targets the disconnect between official solutions and real urban problems. Rather than address the fundamental issue (too many cars, limited space), Blotter proposes fantastical inventions, illustrated in the cartoons showing his increasingly illogical schemes. The accompanying jokes about drug store misheard words ("consecrated" for "concentrated") and a gas company executive's pun about "charges" are standard comedy filler typical of 1920s magazines, padding the page with light humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
L Taxt-Driven Blankety-dash! off, an’ then you'd ‘a’ been in fer some trouble! The Absorbing Adventures of Professor Blotter Jrorrsson Biorren, who has been appointed head of the City Park- ing Commission, feels that the out- standing need of the motorist at present is water that doesn't spill. Having jator trouble with his own car recently, Blotter has decided that he can do no greater good for automobilists than the in- vention of water which will net leak. In fact, Blotter feels that once he stumbles onto this discovery it: will lead almost at once to his invention of air which will not blow out through a puncture, With these diffi Blotter, motoring would be a pleasure if it were not for the parking difficulties in the city. My first suggestion to the com- mission,” said Blotter, “was to build runways on the backs of motor cars, so that they could) simply climb up on top of each other when traffie was too congested. 'T Janger with this plan was that the bottom car might want to move out carly, and so you would be apt to find your own ma- chine left way up in the air, which would make it very difficult to get at it when you wanted it, “Consequently, T have settled the removed, says parking prot means. I moby the simplest edn ordi- hance to the city according to whieh business will be tran and people will go t next.” “An alternate plan to al one and fro - th secure ested, “might be to: Tt isw't that we you know, it's rev » the city. haven't the spa just that. there things in the way.” “But if there isn’t gasped Blotter, “then nobody would re buildings and any city,” want to park.” “and so the problem is solved.” actly,” T smiled triumphantly Corey Ford “Oh, Brother Mule, but this world “Hts not the woes that T mind—it's the giddaps!” : If it hadu’t been for this pedestrian you'd ‘a’ taken my fender A Doped Man (in drug store) —T want some consecrated Ive. Druggist—You mean concentrated Tt does nutmeg any difference. What does Phat’s what DP camphor, it sulphur? “Fifteen cents, T never cinnamon with so much wit.” “Well, To should myrrh-myerrh. Yet Tammonia novice at it.” Mhuminating The president of the local gas com. pany was mi ‘ “Think of the good the gas comp: has done.” 1 . “it L were per- mitted a pun T would say, ‘Honor the Light: Brigade.” A consumer immediately shouted, “Oh, what a charge they mac sae man of few words, think what a devil must have with the crossword puzzles of a time he comicbooks.com een