Judge, 1925-01-17 · page 9 of 36
Judge — January 17, 1925 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers This page contains several humorous pieces from *Judge* magazine: **"Oysters as Is"** is a schoolboy's essay satirizing poor student writing. The boy confuses oysters with clams, uses malapropisms ("bivalve," "Heek"), and makes illogical arguments—the humor lies in the incompetent composition itself, not political commentary. **"The Bricklayer's Rosary"** is sentimental verse about a working-class man counting hours on his job like prayer beads, finding meaning in manual labor while dreaming of his car. **"Diplomacy"** is a brief joke about a woman asking another if she saw her on someone's lap—the daughter hopes so, implying courtship/romantic interest. The sketches illustrate these pieces with period-appropriate drawings. The "Funnybones" box appears to be an advertisement footer. Overall, this represents *Judge*'s mix of social observation humor targeting working-class life and student folly, typical of early 20th-century American satire—no specific political figures or events are referenced.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
UL —_—_ | Oisters as Is (A Schoolboy’s Com position) NE ister, teacher says, is a bivalve. Well, so’s) the clam, The oister ain't got nothing on the clam, by Heek! If T had to chews between a clam and a oist sand take eith Both are slippery, go down easy, and in the dark you can’t tell the Mebby the oister is a little more slippery’n the clam. Visters don't make good pets and they’s Doctors 4 \ I Uae & Ren ey for fricnds. fs is the only Oisters ain't got much ambition and I their days in oister beds Oisters aint got . habit. but that’s bad enough, will get “stewed.” spend In concluding, L might say oisters is peculia ither the animal or the vegetable kind. George W. Lyon Funnyboness > What the country in the roadbed Love Is blind! The Bricklayer’s Rosary TT hours I spend on this here job, Are like a string of pearls to me; T count them over—every one, and sob— Each hour a brick, cach brick a rock ‘To fill a purse with plenty lined; I pat cach brick, until at four o'clock, My car I find, my car I find. O reveries that bless and cheer! O barren effort, someone's loss! I kiss my trowel and yawn and so appear To be the boss, ho-hum, to be the boss. Edmund J. Kiefer g Diplomacy | | “< - Mrs. Swift—Did 1 see you on Erstwitte Battap Sincer—At my zenith | made two continents Jack's lap last night? ‘The time is weep—they poured money orer me. 1 wasa fool. [didn't know what Daughter—T hope so! | todowith it. drawing near when a witness would Friexpn—Pity you didn’t open up a handkerchief factory. be a great help! | comicbooks.com