Judge — December 27, 1924 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

How My Money Goes (Continued from page 13) important that happened in Greece 500 years before Christ or on really significant occurrences in Rome when Rome was going good, and yet here I am with a morning paper with a lot of stuff in it about Mrs. Buzzi. That is a name that fascinates me greatly. Buzzi. Who in the deuce is Mrs. Buzzi? She has been at our breakfast table morning after morning for months, yet I haven't the slightest notion who she is. She is just a bother, with her fascinating name—just a woman put into this universe and into my morning World to annoy me. * + * The trouble is, Mrs. Buzzi did not get her hooks into me earlier in her career. After you see the name Buzzi in your paper for a few months without finding time to delve into the news about it, you realize that it is too late to start to be wise about Mrs. Buzzi, and you simply let it go day after day hoping that eventually Mrs. Buzzi will get out. But Mrs. Buzzi is there to sting you with the stigma of superficiality, morning after morning. What right has this woman to point her finger at me every breakfast and say “You skimmer!” * * + It is not Mrs. Buzzi alone. Hari Singh has been torturing me the same way the past few weeks. I go to lunch with friends at noon shak- ing in my boots for fear the conver- sation will get around to Hari The way a man feels nowadays, when all can his income tax, search his cellar, etc., etc. Singh, and I will be found wanting. Fear is another motive behind my buying the World every morning, whether I need it or not. The World is full of these things on which I am_ weeks behind. Merciful heavens, I have a family to support (as I have often told my family). * «* + One of the greatest virtues of the World is that it is not the New York Times—which has ever so much more in it which you could never find time to read. * * * And what is this Jersey rum plot, In Apartment Houses— How to play the saxophone. and what is the subway difficulty between Mayor Hylan and Governor Smith? * * + There is hardly any reason for me to read the dramatic criticism to see how Henry Miller acted in his new play last night, because I know exactly how Henry Miller acted. * * * I have only the highest praise for the World. My complaint is that it comes out so often that it crowds me. I suppose I do get some value out of the cartoons, and the funny columns. (I do try to keep up with these and constant training has enabled me to get the point of these at a glance, or sooner.) But I do not get the point of the remainder of the paper at a glance, and if I have any constructive suggestion for the editors of the World it is that the remainder of the paper be omitted except on national holidays. Even the stock market reports have had little charm for me since a certain day three years ago. soe Ned—He plays a fair golf game, doesn’t he? Ted—Yes. if you watch him. —Answers toe Hobbs—I was hypnotized once. Dobbs—I'm a married man, too. —Tit-Bits comicbooks.com