Judge — December 27, 1924 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Diary of a Debt Ate 1—Borrowed $3 from Jones this morning. “Pay it to you at the end of the week!” “Don’t let that worry you!” says he. Good egg, Jones. April 7—Met Jones to-day on the avenue. Meant to pay him back, but left my pocketbook at home. I never chirped a word about the 83. Neither did he, but he gave fishy look. Odd egg, Jones. April 14—Meant to send Jones his $3 all this week, but never quite got around to it. Met him at hinch to-day, just after I had spent my last simoleon on the inner man About that $3 you owe me—” says he sort of sheepish, nabbing me by the elbow. “Pay it next time I see you!” says I, and left him flat. Hate : who plucks you by the sleeve. an egg, Jones. June 1—Talking to two swell Janes on Broadway this afternoon, when who should come along but . Not my fault that T haven't paid him his rotten little three iron men. When I've got the money, he never shows up, and it does seem plumb idiotic to send a small sum like $3 through the mail. . . » He never even called me aside; but as soon as he spotted me, yelled out before my two lady friends: “Hey, how about them $3 you owe me?” “You dirty dog,” says I, drawing up myself, dignified, “what do you mean by insulting me in the presence of ladies, when you know says I. Jones... = BALLOON BUMPERS They absolutely protect your car, full well that I never borrowed a penny from you in my life? Now get, or I'll have you pinched!" He beat it, all right; and I'll be hanged now if I'll pay him a cent of his money, unless he sues me for it... « ‘The low-down crunger! Th fourteen-carat skunk! . . . Nastyegy, Jones. curvy, Cyril B. Egan Just Moonshine Floe—How can we tell when the honeymoon is over? Dave—When we get down to the last quarter. DOTTY DECLARES Short eamps are always in style. oY Cir ee =~ Fe eee Bright Sayings of Parents D* morning mine fadder und mudder vas quarreling agin, und mine mudder she say to mine fadder, age vorty she “Badder vor vy you dell me a morning, aboudt de time you got home, to bed; you say you vent to bed at den o'clock und T hear de clock strike von. Vor vy Bar Mine fadder he say: “Dat vas no lie, mammer—dat vas only a liddle bedtime story.” Abie Moxissacs, age vor und a haluf. Y ILLUSTRIOUS sire, Who has just entered his fortieth year of accompanied me to the Zoé- dens. Bt proached the inclosurein- habited by the cebidw and cercopi- thecidw with intense interest. “Is it possible that these primates are our forefathers,” T queried. “Quite so, quite so,” my fond parent; “our foremothers do they not chatter continu- responded Quite clever of pater, don't. you think? Shakespeare Longfellow Whittier Scott, 61% years old. ‘The man who trumps his partner's ace is usually the one who brings company home to dinner on the cook’s night out. comicbooks.com