Judge — December 27, 1924 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

What do you mean by buying a morning paper? HOW MY MONEY GOES by Don Herold jo-pay I will discuss and criti- I cise a copy of The New York World (morning), which I have just bought. I really did not need a World this morning. Why I bought it I do not know. About four newspapers a year would fill my requirements, yet I go on spending, spending my money wantonly for papers every day. Every time I buy a newspaper it is two cents practically thrown to the devil. * * * Yet every moming I can feel two cents fairly burning my pockets and hysterically I yield to the im- pulse to buy a paper. It is largely the shopping instinct—that demon which has us all in its power. Shop- ping, after all, is nothing but a form of nervousness. As a rule, we men conquer it more successfully than women, but it surges within us all, male and female alike. When women no longer have their after- noons off, many large stores will close for want of patronage, and men will not have to work as hard as they now work. But the men will then find leisure and will begin to kill time by going shopping, and the stores will open again. * k * Woolworth’s stores are filled with people who are just fidgety for something to do. Woolworth’s might not last a week if they kept ything in closed bins. Their unwritten motto is, rou don’t want anything, so we have it out where you can see it without asking.” * * * I have not even started to read the President's message which was in a World for which I paid two good cents over a week ago. Yet here I am buying another World every day. * + * And I am not up on everything (Continued on page 26) GOT ho Ga~v2~ The Greasiest Way It’s easy enough to look pleasant, When you don’t have to tinker the car. But the man who can smile, When he’s all grease and “il Is made of the stuff heroes are. exey Actors usually object when some- body takes their part. ceed Inquisitive Stranger—Are you of the Nordic race? “No. Human.” tt A bride is all right when she’s well groomed. ott “The narrow path I always tread, But sometimes I detour,” he said. tote Shellac by any other name would be just as undrinkable, Funnybones a It's true that a man's hone is his castle—but he ain't always the king. _ ‘Tudge will pay $5 for & “How much y’ charge tow me home?” comicbooks.com