Judge, 1924-12-06 · page 9 of 36
Judge — December 6, 1924 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of This Judge Magazine Page This page satirizes the absurdities of suburban commuting in early 20th-century America. "Professor Blotter," an inventor of trivial gadgets, attempts to solve train overcrowding with characteristically impractical solutions—designing railway cars with detachable sides or organizing "elimination contests" where commuters race down aisles. The satire targets both technological overconfidence and the very real frustration of commuter bottlenecks caused by slow elderly passengers blocking exits. The accompanying humor pieces mock courtship and generational ignorance. "Dotty Declares" comments on women's limited autonomy in dating. The "Funnybones" quips contrast sailors' romantic prospects with college men's. "Poor Prospects" ridicules young flappers' ignorance—they confuse "octogenarian" with a disease because older people "always dying." The bottom illustration depicts a catastrophic multi-car pileup, humorously visualizing what would happen if historical figures attempted modern transportation. Overall, the page combines gentle mockery of commuting frustrations, technological pretension, and youth culture.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Absorbing Adventures of Professor Blotter P2oressor Biotrer, who bought a home in the suburbs following his invention of Dynamite Capsules for loosening the salt in restaurant salt-shakers, has been introduced recently to the difficulties of com- muting. It seems Blotter first brought his scientific mind to bear on this prob- lem when he tried to open a window in a train. After successive experi- ments Blotter finally solved the question by inventing a railway car with permanent windows and de- tachable sides. “I find it is easier to leave the windows closed,” said Blotter, id open the rest of the car ins\ Blotter was also quick to note that on the exit ramps in the railw terminals the crowd is always re- duced to its slowest common de- nominator, as he puts it, and strag- gles along impatiently behind the eld lady with the umbrella at the head of the line, who takes the stairs one step at a time and glares if she is pushed. In order to relieve this condition Blotter has suggested to the railroads that they hold commuters’ elimina- DOTTY DECLARES A girl has to stand for an awful lot even in these advanced days. Furnybones; A sailor has a girl in every port, but a college man has one on every davenport Tudge will pay 85 for Gach one printed tion contests every morning coming in on the train “In these contests,” he explained, “the sprinters will line up side by side in the aisle, and at the drop of a ticket they will race the length of the ear. In this fashion they may be timed and grouped according to their speed and endurance, and dis- charged up the ramp the fastest one first, and so on in order of their ability.” “Why not build larger ramps?” I suggested meekly. “Why not keep your mouth shut!” retaliated Blotter sharply. Corey Ford That’s Something Mrs. Niblit—What have you ever done for me to make marrying you? Niblit—Well, for one thing, I saved you from becoming an old up for my maid! Poor Prospects First Flapper—What is an octo- genarian, anyway?” Second Flapper—I dunno, why? “Well, they must be an awfully sickly lot, be se whenever I hear of them they're always dying.” comicbooks.com